Monday, April 28, 2008

UPDATE ON THE BABY:

hello everybody...i'm back from my doctor's appointment.
i had NO idea a sonogram could be SO miserable.
i was a nervous wreck, and then had to wait in the lobby for 30 minutes at the hospital.
which of course, feels like an eternity!!!
so they bring me back and situate me on the table and a sonographer comes in and does her 20 minute thing. same as friday. except this time i was near tears the entire time. and this time, the sonographer informed me, "i can't relay my findings -- the doctor is going to have to discuss everything with you when i'm done."
great.
so we sit there for 20 minutes in silence while she measures and stares at the baby's brain for FOUR LONG MINUTES.
then she moves to the baby's mouth (to check the palate)....
then she moves to his heart....and stares at his heart for AGES....
and then stares at his kidneys...

BY THIS POINT I AM READY TO BURST!!
tell me SOMETHING!
ANYTHING!
she finishes up and prints some stuff out and tells me to wait and the doctor will give me her findings.
:: wait on the table for 10 more minutes ::

doctor comes in and WONT SAY ANYTHING EITHER until he DOUBLE CHECKS all the measurements. so i have to lie back down for ANOTHER long, silent sonogram.
brain...mouth...heart...kidneys...spine...umbilical cord....

i couldn't even watch the screen, which is a shame because normally it's so fun. whenever he'd tilt his head and stare at the screen for long periods of time, i didn't even WANT TO KNOW what part of the body he was studying.
it was truly awful.

so after about...an HOUR of sitting in the presence of SILENT medical professionals, i nearly lost my mind.

all to say -- they turned the lights back on and said that:
1) brain is normal
2) palate is normal
3) heart is normal
4) kidneys are normal
5) spine is normal
6) fluid is normal
7) body is measuring on target for gestational age.
8) umbilical cord is missing an artery.

so they confirmed he in fact is dealing without a 2nd artery in the cord.
questions i asked him, in random order as they buzzed through my brain:

Q: why is "single umbilical artery" significant and how did it form?
A: no medical reason is known yet, as to how it happens. 1% of babies (i knew my doctor and his "10%" average was too high) acquire this issue and there's really no reason. it's only significant IF paired with abnormalities that are found in the brain/heart/kidneys/etc. if it's an isolated event, in most cases, the mothers to be are treated just like any other pregnant woman, with maybe an additional sonogram thrown in there for growth size.

Q: if there WERE to be a heart/brain/kidney problem, would it have manifest itself already or could things still derail in the future?
A: it would have manifest itself already. if anything else were to go wrong with the baby, the likelihood that it has anything to do with this umbilical cord is rare. it would be another random, isolated event -- with no correlation to this anomaly.

Q: then why do 20% of babies die from this, if it's so insignificant?
A: WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT INFORMATION? it's inaccurate. if that were the case, we'd have alot of dead babies. when a stillbirth occurs, we don't even check to see if it was an artery issue in the cord, it's not even used in the process of elimination.

Q: so if you were my doctor, where would you go from here?
A: (he smiles because he SORTA answered that question already...) i'd assume this is a non-event and treat you as i would any other patient.

Q: aren't arteries important? he's obviously supposed to have TWO and he's only got ONE...how can he properly function with HALF of what he should have....
A: how do people live full and normal lives with only ONE kidney, when they were meant to have two? same difference. your body should compensate for the lack of the artery, and be fine.

Q: will my baby suffer from growth restriction?
A: some old school doctors draw that conclusion, though it's hard to prove that growth is restricted due to a single artery, as opposed to two. more times than not -- babies with a single artery are in the normal weight range.

Q: so will you send my results to my regular OB?
A: yes.

Q: what will your report say?
A: normal, with the exception of a single umbilical artery.

**********
essentially, the BABY is great! the baby's connection to the placenta is less than perfect. the placenta is great. and the VEIN in the umbilical cord is what's more important b/c that brings food/air/stuff TO the baby. the arteries are what bring away the baby's waste. he said that since there are normally TWO arteries, and i only have one....that the one artery actually stretches to accommodate the load of what two would normally carry.

i follow up with my regular OB tomorrow morning for a normal prenatal and hopefully we can chat more about this and about how often he'll want to see me, as opposed to how often they were wanting to see me before (once a month).

but this is a huge answer to prayer and a huge relief :) we still have an "issue" but it seems to be isolated and carries no significance to the overall health of the baby. i'll probably still pray a little bit more about this than i normally would over the health of my child -- but hopefully i'll start to calm down now.

THANK YOU so much for your prayers and thoughts and concerns and emails.....
i'll pass along whatever the reg OB says tomorrow!!!!

another day down....
136 to go.....
it just can't go fast enough....!!!!
gosh.
it's been 11 days since my last post.
i'm impressed.
it feels like 11 LIGHTYEARS.

we are officially in our house -- drowning in boxes -- but we made it!! WEIRD.
honestly, i dont think i've slept more than 6 hours each of the past 11 nights and that would be considered generous. i bet the average is under 5. which is pretty bad.

i could list for you all the things that have gone SPLENDIDLY...and all the things that...well...haven't. but that's sorta boring and the whole point would be missed because if you haven't LIVED IT with us....then, the impact isn't there.

i will note that we have spotted the neighborhood nazi.
she's already informed us that our garden needs to be weeded.
and that "today is trash day. that means you need to bring your trashcan back into your garage."

i literally looked around and EVERY SINGLE NEIGHBOR had a trash can sitting outside their garage. why? BECAUSE IT WAS ONLY 4PM and everybody was STILL AT WORK. yet....i personally had to get mine into my garage IMMEDIATELY.

"....nice to meet you, too."

note to self: deliberately leave trash can outside for an additional day JUST to find out if she'll say something again.

another BIG mention = we painted our entire house. and then...i decided it all needed to be painted over. i had a little meltdown over it. cried. swallowed my pride. called my painter. made my offer. she accepted. we're in the process of repainting everything. FORTUNATELY, after 17 pints of "test paint" (DO YOU KNOW how much that really is, if you add up benjamin moore pints TIMES 17?!), i'm officially in love with the color that is now on our living room walls. the office will stay blue. the rest = will go.

then i spent 3 days in court with the dept of health.
i was on channel 7 ABC news.
i was chased by TV cameras.
i was put on the stand. sworn in for the first time. no Bible involved. nothing like what you see on TV.
all because RUDY was attacked by another dog. i wont lie -- it was NASTY. people LIED through their teeth. my blood boiled. and then i went home and pretended the verdict (which we still await) impacted my life in a REAL WAY somehow. like....pretended it was my MOM on trial, or CHAD, or my best friend....and realized.....this is SO STUPID. in my heart i DO NOT CARE what happens to this stupid Labrador. but apparently the district of columbia does and court resumes on wednesday. nice.

in other news -- i need prayer.
i think i can talk about this without needing tissues, today....so i'll proceed.
on friday, i had my 20 week sonogram. chad and i bounce into the office, excited to see our baby again, excited to see how much he's grown. excited to get another peek at his cuteness. i lay on the table, she proceeds to take her measurements, chat about his heart chambers, tell me what position he's laying in, show me his kidneys, measure his brain....yada yada....it's all chipper and hunky dory (where did that saying come from anyways?)....and she wipes the goop off my stomach and goes:

"everything looks fine, except for his umbilical cord....it's supposed to have 2 arteries in it -- and his only has one."

blink, blink.
blank stare.
blood trying to burst out of my warm cheeks.

".....what did you just say?"

"well, every baby is supposed to have 2 arteries and 1 vein in their umbilical cord, and your baby only has 1 artery and 1 vein in his cord....therefore he'll probably be a low birth weight."

oh, no no no no.
as fast as you can take a BREATH, i had a list of questions BURNING through my brain. all while thinking....this absolutely can't be happening to me.

she said i should direct all additional questions to my doctor when i see him next, but that otherwise, "things look fine and you shouldn't worry."

AREN'T ARTERIES PRETTY DARN IMPORTANT THINGS IN OUR BODIES???
DON'T WORRY?!

i left feeling numb.
and apparently stupid, because i came home and googled, "Single Umbilical Artery," and it all resulted in me sobbing for 4 hours on friday night.

single umbilical artery "SUA" can be pretty darn serious.
go pull it up on wikipedia.
it's horrific.
and then in a majority of cases, it's not.
but in 30% of the cases = it is.
you've GOT to be kidding me.

i felt like i was going to snap.
the stress of the move. the stress of court. the stress of chad traveling, the stress of keeping up with my clients....and then finding out i didn't pass my sonogram with flying colors only compounded the anxiety to a point of me crashing and burning. and of course, in these moments, my husband is clueless on what to say, because frankly, we're both clueless about what this means.

i paged my regular OB on sunday, still in tears.
he called me back and chatted about this.
he said 10% of patients have this weird umbilical issue.
i think he's lying.
but moving on...

he said that IF they happen to find any OTHER physical or chromosomal anomalies going on with the baby, in addition to the umbilical issue = we probably have a significant problem on our hands.

IF they don't find anything else wrong with the baby = this is a fluke thing and i shouldn't worry. (haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) he said they'll be keeping a very close watch over me for the next 5 months, with extra sonograms, stress tests, visits to make sure the baby is growing in proportion to his gestational age. i may deliver early. and i fall closer to the "high-risk" catagory than i did before.

he suggested i call the fetal medicine/perinatal specialist on monday to get a high-powered sonogram done asap, to make us all feel better -- and we'll have a better idea how things are shaping up for bebe morgan. swell.

obviously, that's what i did this morning.
i'm on the books at the fetal medicine clinic at the hospital for tomorrow at 3pm.
and i'm going alone b/c puffy is out of town. :(

at the end of the day = there's nothing medically known to CAUSE this. and there's nothing medically known to fix it. it is what it is. and i guess i need to be prepared for some sort of issue to arise, but i'm really trying to stay positive because nothing will transpire outside of the Lord's will...AND odds (not that odds matter AT ALL) are technically on my side. well. if you get past the point where only 10% of babies have this issue...and i fell on THAT wrong side of the fence. (every piece of research i've read says only 1-7% of babies have this....but my doctor must know the right things to say to sobbing, paranoid freaks like me who would stalk them at home on weekends if not sufficiently attended to ASAP.)

i also know two girls who went through this and came out on the other side just fine.
one of them had a 10lb baby DESPITE the growth restriction warning.
so that made me feel a smidge better.

this time tomorrow -- i really hope this is put behind me.
i do however feel that over the last 24 hours, the new realization has washed over me.
there REALLY IS no control over this life. my life. my baby's life. my next breath.
it's easy to say that when i get an A+ on a sonogram, like i did 4 weeks ago. "whew...we're getting CLOSE to me feeling like i can breathe again...maybe i really am having a healthy pregnancy!?"
but to have a person look you in the face and say with 100% certainty that there is something abnormal about your sonogram....renders me more helpless than i ever felt capable of understanding. even if tomorrow goes swell and the specialist tells me all is well....something else in this life will seem crushing and disappointing and unexpected. and there's not a DARN THING i can do about it. at all. and so, in a way....tomorrow's sonogram doesn't matter.

facts are:
i'm pregnant.
i'm almost 21 weeks pregnant.
i've never had an "abnormal" sonogram yet.
and boy oh boy, have i had a zillion sonograms.
my most recent sonogram is all the sudden, abnormal.
yep...still pregnant, though.
pregnant until the Lord chooses differently for me.
with a potential "abnormal" reading....until he's born to prove otherwise.
nothing i can do about either of those.

so i try to let it all go.
but i'm a little bit scared about tomorrow. i'd be lying to say i have no emotions over it.

just say a prayer for me on tuesday at 3pm if you think of it.
i'm not excited about being there alone...but the Lord is always present and He'll provide all that i need.
*********

on another note:
yes, we DID get some photographs of baby morgan on friday.
and yes, he's a doll :)
the appointment started with us not able to get a clear shot of his face because both of his hands were joined in front of his face like he was praying. *swoon* he loves Jesus already :)

but here's his profile shot.
and then his celebrity shot. giving us the hand. after 20 snapped images....clearly he'd maxxed out and simply relayed that to us with his hand up. so funny!

he measured perfectly for his age and shows no signs of growth restriction at this point.
he's 12oz, which is on the high end for "normal" at 20 weeks....and she said that from what she can see, his heart, brain, kidneys, etc look typical. please Lord let the news be promising tomorrow.

i've gained a total of 10lbs and on a good day (aka, my jeans haven't been washed in 2 weeks) i can still fit into ONE PAIR of regular jeans. you shoulda seen what i wore to court. i was so safety pinned together, that going to the bathroom took an hour. work clothes just don't have any stretch!!!!

and at night, he throws a kegger in my stomach.
when he's born i'll have to give him a heads up that it's not really acceptable to drink ALONE, but for now, he's so darn cute jammin' and bouncing around, that i'll let the late night (solo) rave in my belly, slide below the radar. i just can't tell his father.

anyhoo, here you go!



and the hand!



ok...it's 1215AM and i still need to pull apart a bookshelf tonight, to make room for the cable installer to bang holes in my newly painted walls tomorrow. and then i'm going to crash into bed, so i'm bright eyed and bushy tailed (aka, stumbling around with bedhead in sweats) at 8am for the window coverings measuring dude to make his cameo as well.

when do i get to be that chubby pregnant chic who eats ice cream and watches oprah all day?
whew.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

moving day....at long last.

wow...it's 1115pm and i'm dying to crawl into bed.

but my internet gets disconnected tomorrow and i may have nightmares over it :)
WHAT WILL I DO??!

needless to say -- today/tomorrow (depending on when you read this) is moving day.
friday, april 18th = first night in my first house.

wow, i stood in the garage today, looking around at the CHAOS that is my garage (we're ALMOST moved in, but ALL of our possessions are in a garage right now ) and was tempted to feel panic rise up inside of me -- but then it hit me. for the first time. ever. "this is OUR house."

it sounds funny to think i'm just NOW finally growing to appreciate it all.
i mean -- it's been a pretty insane few months, with a NON STOP list of things to just DO DO DO. and if i just stand still long enough (away from my computer and contractors)...i'm in awe that = HERE WE ARE!

so, it's strange going to bed tonight, for the last time, in my first home i shared as a newlywed.
if i stop and think too long -- i may cry.
my first month of marriage ....
my first dog....
my first and second wedding anniversary....
my first job as a Mrs....
my fertility treatments...
my 20000 negative pregnancy tests....
my first positive one....
my first married Christmas...
my first time entertaining the in-laws....
sitting at this very desk, learning that chad passed the level II CFA, after 5 years of NOT passing....

but then again...since no two days of our lives are ever the same....we are constantly and permanently living out "firsts."

every day seems to contain a first for something....some days moreso than others!!!

i look around and realize that ...within these walls of this rented apartment....i became a new person. i moved in as totally different person, than i am, moving out.....

then again -- i get all sappy when i sell a car.

but homes are so full of memories....and as i hand over my key tomorrow and pack up my photographs and walk out tomorrow....i do so with so MUCH excitement and expectation to all the memories that will be built in my new home. our FIRST house.

weird.
so this is my last "capitol hill" post....sitting at my desk, looking over the front street, surrounded by boxes and piles and papers....
in about 8 hours, the movers arrive and my computer shuts down....and more craziness ensues....

i promise to post pics soon!!!
...whenever i'm back online!!!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

photo overload.

can i just do this post in photographs?
words seem overwhelming -- and hey, any update is better than none, right?? :)

where to begin.
for STARTERS....i'm in my 19th week of pregnancy!
**golf claps**
i know -- many of you have moved way passed wondering moment by moment, if i'll bleed when i wipe -- but everytime i go to the bathroom -- it's still what crosses my mind.

i had somebody in my neighborhood ask me, "uhm...are you pregnant?"
i could have kissed him.
except for he's my dad's age and going through a nasty divorce and i was in the middle of my door-to-door escapades in an attempt to salvage my court case involving my dog and a neighbors dog.

::: if that sounds confusing and retarded, welcome to my life :::

anyways -- it made me realize, MAYYYBE i look pregnant now and not just tubby, which is certainly how i feel :) i'm still stretching to wear my normal jeans....but as you'll note....a rubber band is only going to stretch so far, and this one just about screams when i reach for it every morning to help me fit into my pants.



yyyyyeah. looks like i used a more sturdy rubber band that day -- a hair band :)
pregnancy is going along nicely -- and it's true -- 2nd trimester is FAR more forgiving than the 1st. not to mention -- i feel him kicking now!!! not gonna lie -- it was incredibly strange when i first realized that's what was going on in my lower abdomen area. felt like...i dont even know...mini-muscle spasms...maybe tapping....like, morse code or something. but now i've come to recognize it as the baby boy who may be feeling more snug than usual deep down in there somewhere.

i have moments where i'm still in utter shock.
but then i also have moments where i feel COOOOMMMPLETELY disconnected and detached from it. i'd say it's due in part to my caution -- still. and due in part to my COMPLETELY insane life right now. like -- wow -- wouldn't it be cool to just sit around at my desk all day and daydream about nursery colors and baby clothes? but nooooo...the district of columbia is ALL up in my grill over the dog attack rudy fell victim to.....we move into our house this friday.....i'm shooting 3 weddings in ONE WEEK (NOT including engagement sessions).....chad is leaving town for a few days for a business meeting....my contractors SUCK (explanation coming)...and i'm overall pretty darn emotional lately :) could you find it in your heart to forgive me for it? i think a jury would let me off.....eeeasily. oh...and i flew to arizona last weekend, to see janell, my uber-cool friend who just opened her VERY OWN hair salon!!!!







"no janell, you cannot give me a purple mohawk like you did to HER....but i'll let you dye my hair red and cut if all off....just hurry up and GET IT OVER WITH!!"



of course, no hair looks RED up against my orange dining room walls, but trust me = it's red :) and fun, and a nice change!!!

however, i came home to CHAOS on monday night.
for starters -- the kitchen contractors were FAR from finished. they were A WEEK BEHIND SCHEDULE. this threw off the hard wood floor installers....who did a fantastic job....and i nearly had a heart attack or...four. you can't REALLY appreciate how far we've come unless i gave you some before and after pictures....but we'll save that for a later post since the "after" isn't quite there yet.

here's the happy room. i go here and smoke crack cocaine whenever i get overwhelmed by the rest of what is transpiring in this place....it was white carpet (gross and dirty) before...and now it's Brazilian koa :) warms my heart....and the walls were white and BURGUNDY. praise THE LORD that some contractors are BETTER and more EFFICIENT and speak better ENGLISH than others. breeeeathe.



this is Lara. my life-saver. my eyes and ears in the house when i'm not there. my spy. honestly....HOW did i EVER think i'd do this without her...since my husband was absentee for most of the week?!?! i hired her to paint for me, since the quotes i had received were OUT OF THIS WORLD ($17,000 TO PAINT MY FREAKING HOUSE??!!)...and she's NOT ONLY done a FANTASTIC job -- but she's gone above and beyond with spackling, sanding, and being an overall fix-it girl. behold my soothing office.....carpet gets changed manana.



and this is where my heart starts skipping beats and burning within the cavities of my chest. your lungs are immediately coated with a nice thick dose of ....powder. heaven only knows WHAT it is...or where it came from...but my job is to GET IT OUT of my house. white powder EVERYWHERE. dust. crack? your guess is as good as mine.

please note scary table saw.
pantry doors across floor.
fridge across the room.



please note the TILE IS STILL NOT DONE.
i wont even get into this story tonight.
i'll never calm back down enough to enjoy any sleep.



feast your eyes on the PLANK OF WOOD holding up a piece of granite that has ALREADY fallen throughout the night before....and NOW, it's hovering ever so slightly above the NEWLY INSTALLED hard wood floors. just walk away, allison.....stop STARING.



so we're making progress.
but it's slow going...and it feels like the FASTEST two weeks ever because we MOVE SOON and are hitting deadline after deadline...but it feels like the SLOWEST two weeks ever because of the killer drain of money this entire adventure ACTUALLY costs. and yes, there are "the estimates" and then there is reality. NOT ONE CONTRACTOR has been able to stick to their "estimate." beware. it's true. contractors have a reputation for a REEEAASON. the end.

(but yes -- we are BESIDE OURSELVES with excitement over HAVING OUR OWN HOUSE SOON!!! and none of these heartaches can overshadow the fact that this is FINALLY COMING to fruition. i just like to be dramatic. alot. but PLEASE know this is A HUGE answer to prayer.....MASSIVE!!!! :)

i know i mentioned rudy....and i dont have much energy to really delve into the details or ask what you know already.
but here are the bullets:

1) march 17th -- rudy was attacked by neighbors dog.
2) nearly $2000 worth of medical damages to MY DEAR BABY.
3) neighbors verbatim, "sure, i'll pay for it, if you can PROVE IT."
4) chad gags me, so i cannot verbally retaliate.
5) we call DC Animal Control.
6) they come see rudy 10 days later for an unexpected "home visit."
7) they determine rudy is FAR WORSE than they expected (duh).
8) they contact the Dept of Health -- Dangerous Dog Investigation ensues.
9) they attempt to impound attacking dog -- owners refuse to hand him over.
10) they attain affidavit and SEARCH WARRANT their house -- and take the dog by force.
11) i fly to arizona.
12) while on the TARMAC before takeoff -- i get a call that ABC news cameras are on my front lawn asking to see rudy. the attacking dog owners CALLED THEM to come interrogate me and to PROVE that rudy really isn't near death. (FYI - he never was near death. well. except for that convulsion episode b/c his pain meds weren't NEARLY cutting it. and well, and also for those 4 days he refused to eat or drink. ok....maybe he could have died.)
13) i spend weekend in AZ reading about my dog in the news....attacking dog owners start "Free ______ (insert dog's name)" campaign all over Capitol Hill.
14) i come home -- have meeting with the Dept of Health and the lawyers. learn that attacking dog owners met with the city council member and were denied having their dog freed until the trial.
15) did i forget that part? yeah. DC is taking the dog to court. NOT US. we are not personally suing. the District is. but the attacking dog owners hate US...and the dog walker....and so they start campaign in neighborhood to discredit witnesses based on character flaws? this is what i'm told by neighborhood friends......"they're trying to discredit your dog walker based on x, y, and z." awesome.
16) we schedule meeting with city council member.
17) we're advised by anybody that matters to.....put out our side of the story so that our neighborhood knows both sides. we were receiving threatening phone calls, and obvious media attention, so we agreed it would be best, though we were hesitant to take it into a public forum.
18) we distributed all public documents, pertinent to the case: 26-page document containing a letter, medical assessments, photos, etc etc etc, to our neighborhood.
19) attacking dog owner emails me with some definition of "defamation" and the word "lawsuit" was included. interesting. but not at all concerned.
20) i have to sit across from attacking dog owners this thursday, at some preliminary-type hearing. average day at the beach, i assume. what in the freaking world is going on.....
21) official dog hearing on april 25th.....the same day as our 20-week sonogram. honestly....i'm at a loss for words. then again -- ain't it just another day in my life??

rudy today:



you can't see his chest...where his scars are, but you can see both his forearms are still missing hair from all the IVs they had to give him. and i wish you could see his tail in this picture -- it's been almost a month since the attack and he still keeps his tail between his legs. it's so pitiful and sad. i hope he's back to 100% normalcy soon. my sweet bebe. he's lost roughly 10 pounds overall, since the attack -- but at least he's eating again. and not throwing up blood. rock on.

in other news....i still shoot weddings.
i know.
subject change.
and yes -- i do it happily :)
who is that short girl holding the camera in the....conga line??!



yes people.
i've never had a wedding where i wasn't hugged by the bridal party on the way out....even after 8 hours on my feet and hardly any food....and almost half-way through my pregnancy....i still danced :) thanks juju for the pic!!! i'm SO glad she was with me for this wedding!! quite...the...adventure. enough said.

i have TWO MORE WEDDINGS this upcoming weekend.
so yeah.
that makes:
1) contractor hell this week.
2) dog court on thursday.
3) movers show up on friday.
4) wedding on saturday.
5) wedding on sunday. (something i NEVER do, but it was a scheduling mistake that i made last year....such an idiot.) OF COURSE the ONE TIME i shoot back to back weddings in my ENTIRE LIFE....it's the weekend we move. GOSH, i should go to vegas.....

whoa.
forgot to mention i haven't really packed a darn thing. that should be fun too.

it's just sorta messy this month!!
i feel like a horrible friend who's been hiding under a rock for decades. one day, i was fine. the next day i was swept off my feet and never recovered.

i would like to note that i wouldn't change a thing!!!
(outside of my choice in Jose, the ceramic tile installer....)
God has answered our prayers -- and given us some VERY long-awaited and precious things....
i was a little naive to think it would be smooth sailing -- but -- i haven't been this excited about life in a long long time!!!!!! it's just bumpy :)

my biggest downfall is forgetting to daily thank Him. spend time with Him. everything gets lost in the mix of this madness -- and GOD of all things should not be the last priority on my list. it's a daily struggle to sit down, be quiet, breathe, listen, read, and pray. if i ever come up in your minds during your prayer time -- make that your request for me. it's a scary place to find yourself too busy to take that time to spend with Him. just pray i can FIND BALANCE this week!!!!!

i'm going to try to make my blog rounds!!!! even though it's almost midnight.
i'll try to keep everybody updated a bit better!!!!
i can see the light at the end of the tunnel -- and hopefully the dust will settle soon!!!
xoxo - al

******
a few pics of yesterdays wedding:
lansdowne resort -- GO!!! it's BEAUTIFUL!!!! really pretty wedding location -- if you're looking!




















































i'll stop there for now.....
gnite ;)