Sunday, May 18, 2008

miss negligent.

it's sorta hard to really see how i really don't fit into ANYTHING other than this dress, these days.
but this is me!!! at 23 weeks :)
and of course, this is kristi, a friend who is 34 weeks along, this past saturday -- at her baby shower!! can you even handle how that's not even a maternity dress? the girl is still able to rock a regular ole' dress and here i am, 11 weeks behind her, in maternity gear. sweet. then again, somehow you can pull off anything when you're a cute, tan, blonde chic! but not me.

she's having a boy too -- so it was a great time watching her open gifts -- but also a bit overwhelming. it made me realize ticking...and i've purchased ZERO supplies for this baby. and boy, oh, boy, there's ALOT of confusing stuff out there to choose from. i watched with amazement, but also with a bit of trepidation and feeling a bit overwhelmed. where to begin? what am i doing? i couldn't even tell you the last time i've BABYSAT, much less considered what sorta diapers, or lotions, or bottles, or ...ANYTHING...that i want?!

my eyes glazed over when she showed me her new crib that arrived and her fabric swatches for making his bedding, curtains, pillows, and blankets.

my mind went crazy...."am i BEHIND? will i be ready in time?!"

i frantically called two of my close friends to ask when they registered for their showers.
"oh....4-5 mths out from my due date."

i'm inside four months already.
i've enlisted them both to register for me -- given they both have sons under 1 year old.
(glenna, how the HECK did you know what to do when you went to do this?! you must be more baby savvy than myself!)

i need to get on the ball.
i've got NO nursery furniture.
no nursery theme.
no baby clothes.
no registry.

some moms have told me, "who only need a moses basket-type thing and some diapers when you bring him home...." which is true. but still. i'm not really a "wing-it" type of girl. and my husband stocks up on Paxil whenever he hears me try to pretend that's how i'll tackle my first months as a mom.

"'ll be fine! i guess i'll just learn as i go!"

::: chad runs for cover, muffling sobs, violently shaking his head :::

so, dragging "baby room" out of the cob webs of my mind and at least putting it on the back burner would be appropriate at this point. obviously, i've been incredibly busy with the house and with clients -- but i know i've also done alot of hiding behind those excuses. i've been scared. still too nervous to splurge. too terrified to really....materialize any plans or arrangements.

but....boy.....going to a baby shower really kicked me in the pants.
i'll try to shift gears now, however nervous it makes me. however panicked it makes me feel......


pixie4bears said...

Try not to worry too much. Your friends are right, you really don't need the crib for awhile. Best of luck getting everything is fun!

Glenna Marshall said...

This website was a lifesaver:

My friend who has two boys gave it to me as a guide when registering for what you NEED as opposed to all the baby mania that is out there luring you in. I used it as my guide and then registered for some extras as well. I also read a lot of ratings and such when looking at things online. I especially did that for my furniture.

Once you get started, it's not so hard! Once your registries are set up, friends will tell you, "Oh, those bottles are unsafe, or we hated that monitor", and then you'll take that off your registry and add something else that they recommend.

You better get busy, girlfriend!!! I am glad I didn't put it off, even though I felt like I was doing something I wasn't allowed to do--like sneaking into the cookie jar or something.

I have my first shower THIS Saturday! Isn't that crazy!!!??!?!

I'll post about our meeting today...thanks for praying for me!

Chrissy said...

you are totally not weird for not knowing what to do. i work at a pregnancy center and i'll look like a deer in headlights when it's my turn.

but, turn on the fun. enjoy it. enjoy taking your time and picking out cute patterns and themes. it's a blast, i'm sure. and he's a baby. he won't know if something is off. :)

ps: you look ADORABLE.

heather said...

you look GREAT! what a cute dress.

i think you said something in a post about how fear really tends to have its grip on you. before you take the plunge to buying all the gear, take some time to explore that fear that's holding you seems normal...but a really healthy approach to this big change would be to confront some of what you're feeling - maybe pray through it (check out kelly's latest post - she's inspired me).

glad to see a photo - keep us posted. and...take some deep breaths. :)

getnhealthy4babies said...

you look beautiful and that dress looks great on you! I am sure you will have everything you need by time baby comes! You'll be just fine!

Eric and Emily B. said...

You are so cute!! Have you not had a baby shower yet? I'm not sure when most people have them. I'm sure you'll be fine and you should have enough time. Praying for you.


Hope said...

You do look so cute. Pregnancy really does make you glow.

I will probably be just like you given the chance. I am sure though you will be fine.

Keeping you in my prayers!

Misty said...

You are just the cutest little thing! I wish I had looked half that good when i was pregnant!! I can't wait to see what all you end up buying.... because of course you will blog about it RIGHT!!?? :-)