Monday, October 27, 2008

sleeping update....

so your comments and suggestions have been a lifesaver. thanks for filling me in on how to get my little party animal back to sleep in the middle of the night. i actually didn't give him enough credit...he was one step ahead of the game...or a mind-reader, because i think he saw it comin.'

that night after i posted about his second wind at 4am, i fed him, changed him, and put him right into his crib, in a semi-awake state. (OK, i rocked him for 3 minutes....i'm ADDICTED.) he did not utter a PEEP and went to sleep like a champ. same for the 4am feeding. same for every night since then!!??

i find myself standing, holding my breath in the hallway, waiting for a freak out....and sometimes i hear a grunt or can tell he's straining to BUST out of his straight-jacket swaddle blanket (how did mothers LIVE WITHOUT THESE before some Einstein created it...) with all his might, but he eventually succumbs to the realization that he's stuck there and may as well doze off, or it'll be a long night.

we've even had moderate luck with this technique during the day, for naptime. i have to admit, "naptime" is a very liberal term right now. he naps non-stop. but i am about to make a huge confession. yoooooooge! for the first 11 weeks of his life....he never once napped in his crib. THEREISAIDIT. i would set him in his little boppy on the couch....and he would nap next to me, while i'd watch tv, edit pictures, email my friends/clients, eat my lunch, whatever the heck it is that i do all day. but, in recent days i've noticed he's alot more alert and "disturbed" during naptime by the noise of his surroundings. things like...oh...pots and pans banging, me doing the dishes, me on the phone, etc. etc., seems to now awaken him from his coma-like naps. now before you go judgin' you should understand how naptime in the living room came to be! the kid has a freaking heart monitor, ok? and when he was discharged, that puppy fired off every other minute. and outside of the fact that you have to RESET the monitor after every "heart event"...and record it on a notebook...i simply didnt WANT to be that far away from him. his room is upstairs. and i wanted him as close to me as possible at all times. and stairs aren't cool after c-sections. and my excuses could drone on all day. but there you have it. it was time for NURSERY naptime.

and so last week, i put him in his crib, half-awake, and he WAS NOT THRILLED. it was the first time i think i realized he's a weeeeeeeeeeeee bit spoiled. but we toughed it out and whaddya know -- he slept for FOUR HOURS. i almost got scared. and then i remembered that if he's dead...his heart monitor would have relayed that message to me.

now that you're all up to speed on my sleep failures/successes, i'd like to ask my next question i have in my pursuit of "good mommy-ness." remember back in the day when i said my kid NEVER cries for no reason? awww, that was really sweet of isaac to entertain his little 8 week old brain and stare at walls in deep content. well. he's still pretty content. and. he still rarely cries for no reason.

but what the HECK do i do about all the times he cries and i KNOW what his reason is....and i must deny him!? somehow over the course of the prior 2.5mths, he's grown an affinity for being held. all. the. bloody. time. the little dude has massive opinions about being put down on his play mat. he watches me. he cranes his little neck to stare at me leave the room to refill my cup of coffee. and he voices ALOT of dissent.


i try to let him howl it out, when i KNOW his tank is FULL of milk, his diaper is freshly changed, and he's recently taken a nap and should NOT be tired or cranky. but there is something incredibly UNNERVING about trying to ignore a kid goes on...for...ever? and the SECOND you pick him up -- he takes a few minutes to catch his breath (slamdunk for isaac b/c mommy feels REALLY abusive when he's so upset that he's panting...) and gives me this HUUUUUGE smile....and all is well once again in the world. ooooooh, you little stinker....

i've pretty much tried it all.
i've even resorted to popping the creepiest thing i've ever seen, into my DVD player.
BABY EINSTEIN VIDEOS for 3+ month old babies.
i found myself wiping the drool off my chin, after becoming entranced by the darn video for a good 20 minutes....while isaac found contentment in my lap, staring at a window. he couldn't have cared less about the entire ordeal.

i've tried swings.
play mats.

and he'd simply sell his soul to be held.
and i start waiving a white flag and give up b/c i start to wonder if he's miserable and....OMG I AM BECOMING THAT MOM. HELP ME. not to mention, i've also becoming a lame duck all day, staring at a to-do list that is ever growing.

i'm takin' 'em!

in other ground-breaking, front-page worthy news:

i mean.
it's been 12 weeks.
i have no idea what's normal or not.
and i will make no further comment about how MANY pairs of pre-pregnancy jeans i fit into (i think we need a graveyard for clothing that my body will NEVER fit into again...) but the POINT IS, i have fully packed up my maternity clothes and dragged out all of my winter clothes and hung them up. i feel like a new woman, getting dressed in normal clothes again, however i may never, ever relinquish my maternity underwear. much to my husband's dismay.

he asked me last week, "al, ....don't you think it's time to go back to your....other underwear?" it took me a minute to EVEN KNOW what he was talking about. that's how much my maternity underwear and i, are one. they are cotton briefs. WHATS WRONG WITH THAT? but omg...are they ever comfortable. and i argued, whats the POINT?! as long as i'm in NURSING BRAS, which are far less sexy than plain old cotton briefs -- why bother! nothing says HOT MAMA like a grammy-sized nursing bra and lace thongs. jeez. i would look like a hooker with an identity crisis. however, i think my husband would be ok with that.

(for the record i do not OWN lace thongs, nor would my booty enjoy lace thongs. just sayin.)

so hip-hip-hurray for pre-preggo jeans.
no matter how snug they are.
my body is very reluctant to let GO of those last 5-7lbs, but i should be grateful, because i have a good idea where they are. the day those 5-7lbs vanish, i venture to say my bra cup size will vanish as well. and it

better hope those lace thongs do ALOT of distracting.....ugh.

well, if you think of it -- say some prayers for us this week.
for starters, isaac has been advised by his pediatricians to receive the RSV antibody. 15 babies in our pediatrician's office have qualified for it -- isaac being one of them. given he was born before 35 weeks, and under 5.5lbs, and within 6mths of RSV season -- they find it very advantageous for him to receive this injection every 29 days, for the 5 months of RSV season.

upside -- immunity from this potentially devastating illness (his lungs would not handle it well, considering they are still recovering from being born too early.)

downside -- our insurance has refused to cover them (based on some CRACKED OUT reasons that we are still fighting), and they are $2500 PER INJECTION. and frankly, thats a crapload of money we OBVIOUSLY do not have.

please pray that either our insurance does a 180....or that we open our mailbox this week and learn that somebody has decided to send us ...oh....ten thousand dollars...give or take a few.

also, on wednesday, isaac gets his next vaccines! THRILLING! after this wednesday, we're FREE TO GET ON WITH OUR LIVES!!!! PRAISE GOD! i am free from this HOUSE!

and on thursday, we head to georgetown hospital to have them review isaac's heart monitor recordings and let us know if he's back to "normal" or if he needs to spend another 4 weeks on it. either way....i'm fine with, for varying reasons.

welp, it's almost noon and i'm starving so....have a great week!


kmc said...

on the wanting-to-be-held thing ... I know it feels like a drag and is a pain at times, but this phase will go by so fast. Soak it up and enjoy it, because it will not last. Trust me. Before you know it he will be two and sprinting away from you at every opportunity. Shoot before you know it he will be ten or eleven months and wriggling away to crawl toward every non child proofed hazard he lays eyes on. You are not spoiling him by holding him, especially if he can nap for four hours in his crib at that age. You are doing great. Experiment with a few slings or different baby carriers so you can still function and use your hands. I particularly love the Ergo, but he might be too little for that yet. Enjoy the snuggly I want to be held phase, it will be over very soon.

heather said...

i so appreciate you being a few steps ahead of me in the whole baby thing - i'm learning so much from you. :)

i don't have first-hand experience on the holding baby thing, but what kmc said makes sense to me - finding a sling or other baby carrier and bring isaac around the house with you. sounds like a good compromise!

Allison said...

oh, my apologies. did i forget to mention he hates his sling too? i have one. i've tried it. he went bizerk. he thrashed around inside of it, as though i were trying to suffocate him or something.

he likes it if i'm sitting down. with his head out so he can look around.

i will say for the record that he enjoys his baby bjorn. but it HURTS ME! i don't know why but after 20 or so minutes of lugging him around in starts to chafe my waist.

and trust me, i DO hold him ALOT. it was just 2 posts ago, that people were telling me to PUT HIM DOWN so he can teach himself to sleep. so it's not for lack of holding, rocking, entertaining.

but a sister needs to EAT, COOK, PEE, SHOWER, MAKE BUSINESS PHONE CALLS, and various other necessities that don't work too well with a kid in my arms....

i don't wish a single day away, i love each moment. and i hold him constantly...but i don't have a mom, or a sister, or any family to hand him off to when i need to get stuff done. heck, my husband isn't even home alot of the time.

so that's that.

Julie Nickerson said...

A - 4- HOUR - NAP!!!!

Abel HAS NEVER taken a 4 HOUR NAP!!!

I think you have a GEM!!! Consider yourself blessed!

And don't feel guilty that he hasn't napped in his crib until recently. The first 3 months they are considered to be in the 4th trimester and well Isaac was still in the 3rd trimester when he was born so you aren't doing ANYTHING wrong.

I think it is totally fine to have them nap where ever when they are newborns. They don't really understand what is going one. I think around 10-12 weeks, or whenever they start getting more aware of their surrounding, is a good clue to put them in their cribs for naps.

He is a smarty and I think will get it very soon. Obviously, he has since he took a 4 HOUR NAP! Still can't believe that one!

And that is awesome that you are back in your jeans. You will TOTALLY lose the rest of the weight when you start to slow down on the breastfeeding.

And me and my maternity undies were one until about 8 months post baby and I realized the "sag" in the undies wasn't making my rear looks it's best. Since then I just wear super modest cotton undies and the thongs are LONG forgotten.....