admitted...and meeting my sweet boy tomorrow.

well...what a day.
i really don't know where to begin or how far i'll make it into this story since i'm on hospital-enforced ambien...but i'm having a c-section at noon tomorrow.

it seems things have taken a worse turn with my umbilical cord/placenta combo and in the best interest of my unborn baby -- they've shot me up with steroids (for the baby's lungs sake) and are taking him out tomorrow.

i don't even know where to begin -- but to answer your questions -- yes, i'm horrified and terrified.

he'll be born at exactly 34 weeks.

all i know is that a nervous feeling came over me two nights ago when he had minimal fetal movements the whole night. night is normally his hyper time!! so to go two hours of "hyper time" without so much of a flinch....made me cringe. but i feel that i always overreact, so i did nothing and tried to sleep it off.

well....on wednesday, the following day...his movements were rare and sluggish at best. i tried every trick in the book -- but he just wasn't himself. his patterns were off. he was quiet. my heart raced.

i decided to call my OB at 4pm on wednesday, just to make a record of it and she asked me to head over to labor and delivery just to be monitored and to put my mind at ease.

i felt stupid. my mind is never really at ease. why can't i just chill the freak out already?!
so i go in, alone, b/c i felt too stupid to even tell chad i was heading there.
we've done this twice already and after they monitor me, they send me along on my way with positive reports.

so undressed, allowed them to slip the monitors on me and nearly fell asleep for 30 minutes while they listened to his heartrate and watched his movements.

the doctor came in, like usual, yet this time, she was rolling a sonogram machine in with her. "i think we should take a look to make ourselves feel better...."

wow.
my heart dropped.

"he's had a few heart decelerations and we'd like to see him move around a bit."

they watched him on sonogram for a full 30 minutes = no movement.
no nothing.
he was breathing...you could see him trying and practicing which is normal.
but "no fine motor movement." and "no gross, involuntary movements."

score = 6 out of 10.
they called in the senior nurse and my doctor.
both informed me that i would not be going home, but staying under monitoring until morning to have me wheeled into the specialists office for a intense sonogram.

it was a very long night in the labor/delivery ward.
though i tried to stay positive.

my OB swung by this morning at 730am, and basically said, "i'll most likely defer to what the specialist suggests. if he says the baby is fine, you go home. if he said the baby's NOT, then you dont go home....we'll wait to see.."

so the sonographer did a highly-detailed sonogram, where he had picked up his movement and made us all feel alot better. and then the doctor came in to give us his assessment.

"allison, i watched your heartrate stips from last night, while you were under surveillance and the baby's heart had multiple decelerations overnight....and now our sonograph is finding that your placenta is starting to decentigrate. my suggestion is to deliver this baby today or tomorrow."

i think i stopped breathing...for....too long.
i asked a million questions....chad choked up....and i just felt so much being pulled out from under my control.

"i will call your OB, give him my findings, and together we'll all make a decision."

i don't remember the wheelchair ride back to my hospital room. i'm not kidding.

i can't believe that was this morning -- this has by far been the longest day of my life.

and you know -- i'd never EVER be able to go home, knowing the information i have now, and feel he's SAFER inside of me, than outside. he clearly needs out. but out is SO not safe for him at this point either and the fear is very gripping and real. being OUT is the lesser of the two evils.

the neonatal doctor came by for a little visit with us and said we should expect him to stay there for 2 weeks after he's born. depending on his weight and his lung capabilities. last night they shot me up with a massive steroid drug to hyperstimulate the baby's lung development and then again, this morning....more of the same. they say studies show it helps immensely. and if he's truly 5lbs, that will come in handy for him to be able to hold his own body heat -- but from what i've learned (in addition to the very real fear of them blowing out my remaining vein for an IV and that they really can starve you for 3 days straight), size makes no difference on lung development. he could just be a big baby with underdeveloped lungs....just never know.

after the doctors conferenced all day on what to do -- they decided it would be best to keep here and monitor me all day while the steroids can do real justice on his lungs -- and then safely remove him from this failure in-utero ordeal. they said that if he's already showing distress w/ me NOT in labor -- than it would be no good for him to undergo the stress of a vaginal delivery. not to mention, at 34 weeks, it could increase the chance of baby stroke, ruptured arteries, etc.

all no go's.

so tonight is the last night i'll be pregnant.
for reasons hard to explain -- i'm happy.
and for reasons that need no explanation -- i am devastated.

there's so much personal responsibility that you attribute to yourself in these moments. how did my body fail this baby SO much? how did all of this come to pass? what did i do wrong? could have done differently?

i've asked all three doctors and they say these are just freak problems that occur.
they'll all also said he'll be just fine, and to try to sleep tonight.

sleep tonight.
going off the amount of sleep i DID NOT get last night -- compiling all of this information will keep me up for ions.

my poor baby is being thrust into a pretty uninviting situation out of medical necessity. they discussed "placenta calcifications" and the risks just not being worth going home and coming back with maybe a dead baby next week. and i absolutely had to agree.

...all while asking myself how i'll leave this hospital on monday. without him. on my birthday.
how will i ever sleep knowing he's 15 miles away from me for the 1st two weeks of his life.
but then i figure -- would i sleep if he were home? a premie? with weak physical systems? would i not WANT the professionals to stand gaurd over him day and night until he's 100%?? of course i would. let's not cry a river over being given the best case situation. these people are amazing and i've loved getting to know them all over the last 30-some odd hours.

and i'm ultimately glad i came in. i was glad i was nervous. i was glad i listened to my body. things could have been tragically different had i ignored some of these things.

but yes, i've cried alot today.
cried out of fear...fear of surgery....fear of what they'll find. fear of his underdeveloped baby lungs that my not be able to cry on his own. so much fear.

then i fear the c-section itself. i NEVER wanted a section in my life. i had been telling some friends about this -- i would DIE if i ended up wiht a section. "how tragic and awful." and i still feel that way. i'm sitting in a labor and delivery ward and just heard the room next to me explode in cheers when the baby finally came out. i had a twinge of sadness that i wont be experiencing that, this time. my baby will be rushed aside to be examined by neonatal doctors on standby in our room. i'll be laying strapped to a table, unable to even touch him....

all of this is my certain reality, in 12 hours exactly.
they said they'll come me at noon, to walk over to the OR down the hall.
they'll pull chad out and put him in scrubs.
while he's away, they give me a spinal, get me on the table, and get started.
from start to finish = one hour.
guess it takes them longer to put you back together, than it does for them to take you apart.

i foresee that hour being surreal to the highest degree.
i'll then spend 3 nights in this hospital and will go home monday.
i have no crib.
i have no dresser.
i have NO DIAPER BAG.
i have no premie clothes.
i have no glider.
i have no PUMP, considering i'll have to pump whatever the nursery wants to give him via bottle.

today has been a day of mourning so many visions in my mind.
so many things that i've always pictured on my childs day of birth.
going into labor naturally...experiencing my body working in those ways...laboring hard to the end to push him out...and cheering as a fully grown and healthy baby is held high for all the proud parents and grandparents...
so yes....i mourn my dreams.

and then i remember. they're my dreams.
they're not God's dreams for me.
where i am right now and how i envision tomorrow going - are only by the hand of God. this is the story He's given me and chad and the baby. and i want nothing other than Gods perfect way with us...

it's funny and may sound creepy but, all this week i had 3 dreams separately that i would be having a c-section. then in my devotionals this week, so many REALLY profound verses were highlighted to me:

Is 55: 8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, my ways aren't your ways, my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts, your thoughts....

Romans 8-28
He promises to work all things together for our good, for those who love him.

Romans 11:36
For from him, through him, and to him are all things. To Him be the glory forever.

and then a close friend sent me this text and my eyes welled up (which they've done more times than not today): "On the day I called, you asnwered me, my strength of soul YOU increased. PS 138:3

i love that.
i love to be reminded in tangible scriptural ways of how the truths are so prevalent when you allow them to be.

tomorrow has never been MORE out of control in my life. but do we live lives thinking we really have any more control than this? frankly, this is just my needed reminder that i control nothing -- i am just a steward of all He's given me and i hope He finds me faithful.

but for the multiple groups that came by today to pray over me and the baby.....i have them to thanks. hearing their words beseech the Lord on my behalf was humbling and i cried. but i cried even more for those parts of my heart i always tried to hide in this pregnancy. the UNDERzealot. the "i'll get excited when i finally see him." "i'll tell the world when the risk is passed (heh.) i'd pawn it off as nervouness to want to get involved emotionally wiht the baby, when so much seemed left up to stake. odds.

all of that passive crap i used as my cover worked--until you're being told your firstborn could very well have some major issues post-partum. i cried NOW because i felt i had never told him i loved him...as my son... he needed to know this new fear i feel for his wellbeing is real and tragically deep. a layer in my heart so deep...rose to the surface and i love him. i love him. i am fully in undenial love of him and i would love to raise him and be his mother. i guess it's in these tried by fire moments that all the shaff gets burned away and truth rises.

then all the secondary issues rise like....i expected to be here for 30 minutes and guess what!!!?? "you're not going home..."
and the issues of the baby stuff WE DONT HAVE YET. no crib, dresser, changing table, lamps, diaper champ thingies...the breast pump, since i'll have to pump for 2 weeks straight and deliver it to the nicu, to feed it to him through bottles. but wait...i dont have any bottles.... :( just so many things like...his room ins't painted yet...oh, or the HUGE DOOZIE....my baby shower this saturday -- and i'll be bedridden and unable to attend. :( but darling lanier will have everybody hooked up on web cam and then bringing the gifts to the hospital for me to see!!!

i guess...the truest lesson i've learned in all of this "avoidance" of pregnancy, in my life, out of a stiff-armed fear that something tragic will occur and i need guard my heart, etc....the entire charade of hoping to live as though"no love lost" in case the baby thing falls through in the end.

it was all a lie to myself.
i could fake myself out forever....until you're on the threshold of smelling his skin, grabbing his face, breathing in his qualities, knowing he's yours forever. and tonight....i could taste it. it's so immenent that i can feel it. and it electrifies me from the inside out. i am his mother. i am already so in love with being there for him. no charades needed tonight. i felt this incessant panic, love, hope, fear, umlimited questions...for this baby.

my last night pregnant.
his last night inside there.
our last nights apart. many moms call pregnancy, a feeling of being "a part" from the baby.
i rather saw pregnancy as our enemy and that now that's no longer in there...we'll be able to celebrate being together in a new and tremendously rewarding way.

it's birth eve....
and im drugged beyond belief.
and yes, fear is very realized right now.
but yes, God is very realized today, too.

i have the worlds best friends who take amazing care of me and all my needs.
many phone calls weren't returned, etc.
my room here was full...of organizers, party planners, gift bearers, people to share in my tears, encouragers, emphathyziers. more doctors. more questions. more shots. more hope.

all to say -- the c-section is tomorrow at noon.
please lift this unborn child before the Lord in prayer.....please just pray hard for his health.
just pray that i will love the Lord's plans for my life OVER my own. having my arms strapped to a table as they cut my baby out of me -- is not on my wish list. but HIS WAYS are higher...and so i trust in him. i've been SO vigilant in my baby-growing ways...but what can i do??
pray also for chad to be the excellent "point person" tomorrow.

i'll be at arlington hospital center.
i am CURRENTLY in labor and delivery wing, and you'll need to be transferred to my personal room. just call 703-558-6171 to chat. not sure who wil answer, but somebody will!!!

as for practical ways of helping....if you're in the area...or maybe not.....
i have no premie clothes.
no premie diapers.
i have no premie anything.
i also have no bassinett. (though it's in the works....i think...)
i have no crib, changing table or glider.
i have no breast pump (though it's in the works i think)

but God is good.
and God is the REAL father of this baby boy.
and God loves him more than i could ever know.
God loves us more than we could ever know as well.....
we should allow room for God's surprises...

with that said -- ambien calls. ambien ROCKS on an empty stomach.
i love you all and will hope to have VERY encouraging news the next time i'm on here....

just please pray that chad and i are gracious to each other - we've been a bit on edge today.

ok....i'm out. i'll be in surgery in 12 hours from now.
i'll see my sons face 12 hours from now.
i'll see my son make my husband a father....
and no matter what it looks like -- it's still a miracle that i'll sob my eyes over again and again.....

please join in praying us through our fears, our inexperiences, our inner turmoil -- as we turn to the maker of life himself to save this little boy.

hospital internet stinks...i'm sorry.
i'll try to update with news tomorrow!!!!!! i'll TRY :)

perinatal appointment update!

(sorry to those of you who got the personal email regarding this. ignore this post, if you did. you're just that much cooler because you heard the news first :)

i never know who's out there who cares about this stuff, as most of my friends are not pregnant and do not have children. so for what it's worth (which is ALOT to me!!!) i have an update about our perinatal specialist appointment this morning!

at 915am, me and puff show up at the perinatal dude's office.
why can't they EVER see us at our scheduled time? last two visits have been OVER an hour delayed...but today it was only 45 minutes in the waiting room. i dont get it. how did you get THAT far behind schedule when you've only been OPEN for an hour so far?? anyhoo.

sonogram went great. wish i had some pictures to post but his face is so big now, not all of it fits on the screen!
baby parts all working "normally" (the magic word -- normal never sounded so -- fantastic!) and while the doc was wiping gel from my belly he goes, "the baby weighs 5 pounds, from the multiple measurements we've taken. he weighed 3lbs 7oz, 3 weeks ago...so he's gaining a half pound a week....."

people.
i'm 32 weeks pregnant.
i felt a wave of elation and a wave of panic overcome me at the same time.
i'm technically on course to have a baby that could weigh over 9lbs. i mean. lots of people do it. so it's not THAT insane. but my OB doesn't want to allow it.

i'm BEYOND THRILLED that the baby seems to be thriving with an umbilical cord that only works at half-capacity. i mean...i couldn't ASK for anything more!!! we saw chubby cheeks....and a little nose....and lots of kicks....and a scary eye. why does the eye always have to be so scary? i can't help but PRAISE THE LORD that little chubby morgan is chuggin' along, as if he's able to order a second round of wings and another pint of guinness. packin' on the pounds and loving life.

but then my regular OB, who i had to follow up with this morning, was equally thrilled, while combining that with, "i need you to come back in 3 weeks.....if he's in the 7-8lb range....we're inducing. if he's in the 8-9lb range.....let's schedule you for a c-section."

WHOOOA
WHOOOOOOAAAA there.

i am NOOOOT willingly going to sign my name on the list for scheduled c-sections.
NOT my dream come true.
i'm not even thrilled about inducing -- out of this fear that it will LEAD to a c-section.

but if the baby is 7-8lbs by 36 weeks....what would my options be?
i don't know.

i just have to thank my lucky stars that maybe the umbilical cord issue has kept him from becoming a full grown ELEPHANT in there, like his daddy was, when he was born. no wonder his mom only had one child. the terrors.....

all to say -- hallelujah! :)
oh.
and i lost 2lbs.
which i count as a HUGE victory -- but my OB counts it is, "not noteworthy....it's just fluid....not a big deal."

well they SURE AS HECK make a BIG FREAKING deal about it when i GAIN the 2lbs....so why not celebrate when i lose it?! so not cool. so not.

so needless to say - in three weeks - we learn of the course of action that will be taken to see this baby is safely born and that i survive along the way, too.

thanks for thinking of us...praying for us....and for humoring me.

whaddya know...i'm starving again.

prenatal yoga, perinatal appointments and pennsylvania baby showers...oh my!

whew!!
it's been a while since i've sat down to blog!
two weeks to be exact.
my bad.

does my TICKER REALLY SAY 53 days left?!
i saw it last night and kinda had a heart attack.
only because i REMEMBER counting down to my wedding, and recall specifically counting down in the 50's and thinking how fast things went once i hit "50 days"....

i've officially been pregnant longer than i was engaged.
THAT is crazy to think of!

i dont really know where to begin...or where i've failed to keep you posted.
i want to start by thanking those of you who have been praying for baby cheez's growth/weight due to his umbilical cord issues. on june 30th (did i really forget to tell you all this?) i had a perinatal specialist appt and they took fetal measures and just last week i got the actual results back. the baby is 64th percentile in size!! i was SO relieved -- as this is a HUGE answer to our continued prayers that he will grow appropriately and be able to keep up. as long as his size is good, they'll let him stay in there, and let's just say -- we're not ready to pop him out JUST yet.

isnt it funny when people ask you that?
i think in MANY ways, i'm MORE than ready to get him out into the world. i want to SEE him of course, but for some reason i feel he's SAFER out here, than in there, and if he needs help, all the medical advances in the world would be at his baby fingertips! it's sorta a little mystery to me, on how he's doing in there. i mean..nobody knows. we have a pretty good idea he's chill...but i'd just like to be able to chat with him about it. "you ok today?....awesome. just checking."

i will admit i'm starting to hit a little bump in this pregnancy where i'm not feeling so cute anymore. (NOT FISHING for compliments -- not the point.) but i've managed to gain ALOT of weight and have two more months to go. well. 1.5 mths to go. and i just feel gross. i'll attribute alot of it to lack of sleep. somewhere along the plan for pregnancy, God decided to warm us up by STEALING OUR SLEEP before the baby comes. for the LIFE OF ME, i cannot get comfortable. ever. i wake up probably ever hour. and then this morning, got up at the same time as chet b/c i was just that miserable. the rest of the day is great. but night time SUCKS. fyi.

so i get sorta worn down simply b/c i can't sleep.
and i honestly dont FEEL like i'm eating that much.
i mean....i was a weird eater when i got pregnant....and i still feel like i'm a weird and random eater. then again -- lanier wouuuuld tell you differently b/c i can put away ALOT of food by comparison between now and then. but overall....gosh. i've already gained WAY more than they wanted me to during this ENTIRE pregnancy.

boo.

a few weeks ago i took a pic for my mom:



when i took this pic i think i was 30 weeks and feeling pretty ok with my size.
then...a week later....upon returning from a prenatal yoga class i signed up for....i looked like THIS:



i'm sorry, but i got WAY bigger in one week.
it felt shocking.
that was just about a week ago...and i no longer fit into those gray sweats by the way.

my husband so lovingly brought my attention to the fact that "they give you a wedgie bigger than any pair of pants you've ever worn....are you sure they're still comfortable to wear?"

i stared at him for a **very** long moment and wanted to laugh...hard. and then wanted to cry...hard. like i needed a REMINDER that my backside is grossly expanding. thanks chad.

sigh.

speaking of the prenatal yoga -- it feels really good!!! we do these stretches for lower backs that is HEAVEN and well....it was also harder than i thought. i'm pretty out of shape at this juncture and i'm having these deep pelvic pulling sensation sort of pains that sometimes make it harder to walk....so we'll see how long i can keep up the yoga. i'm signed up for it till 38 weeks -- frankly, i'm hoping it may bring on labor as early as safely possible! crossing fingers.

on a completely different note -- i had my first (should have been 2nd) baby shower this past weekend!!! i guess i failed to discuss how my FIRST baby shower should have been in CA last weekend, but my OB put the kabosh on me flying for 6 hours. i was told by my OTHER OB, since then, that he was just having a very bad day and exaggerated the risks -- but still -- my shower was cancelled with 4 days notice. ask me how HORRIBLE i've felt ever since.

but, with that said -- my mom and two friends threw my PA shower this past weekend and it was so sweet of them!! granted -- i'll NEVER wear this dress again because i look like a fat cow in it. uhm, maybe i am. one of the guests walked in and announced that she "CANNOT BELIEVE YOU HAVE TWO MONTHS LEFT -- YOU'RE HUGE!"

**weak smile**

but it was alot of fun to see a bunch of faces i haven't seen in quite some time -- and to start checking things off of the long list of supplies i need to get for baby!!! among the major gifts were:

my digital baby monitors for the house!
my papasan baby swing!
my embroidered crib quilt for my baby bedding!
lots of clothes, toys, and all things BABY RELATED :)

THANK YOU THANK YOU to my lovely hostesses -- WHY did we not all take a pic together? i meant to -- but when the party is FOR the photographer -- i guess things don't get captured they way you think they will!!!

"..she's by the food. hurry before she EATS IT ALL!"





and then a few shots of me before i walk out the door to drive back to DC :)
thank you mom for everything and for letting all these people come over!!!
and thank you girls for helping her and making it really special!!!!



yep. feeling huge.
julie -- don't you HAVE this dress?? the first time i put it on, i remembered it's the dress you wore to YOUR baby shower last spring!!!?



at any rate -- things are moving along and the house is slooooowly coming together.
this weekend, we're doing some renovations to the baby room...next weekend is the DC shower (yippeeee!) and the following weekend my parents are in town (hopefully...)

and then....
i have FOUR remaining weekends before bebe is here.
that's if i make it all 40 weeks.
and of course i could go past 40 weeks...though the docs aren't keen on letting that happen to me since my HUSBAND weighed 10lbs. 9oz. when he was born.

anyways -- there's my update!!!

tomorrow i have my final perinatal sonogram (well, unless they find an issue - PRAY!) and if it's golden -- there's releasing me from any future "high risk" visits! WHOO HOO! i'll post my update when i get home!

xoxo.

biking failures....

yeah....so we bought bikes!!!!
it was actually ALOT of fun riding around Target, wobbling through the aisles, "test-driving" the bikes to determine how high the seats needed to be, what size "wheels" we wanted and if we were on the market for a mountain bike or a street bike.

i personally nearly killed 4 children in Target, and settled on a little mountain bike.
only b/c the street bike i wanted was too big for me.

puff settled on a bike right away, and was tapping his foot waiting for me, until somebody pointed out that he was about to purchase a "unisex" bike, which TOTALLY weirded him out and you'd think he went through a moment questioning his manliness.

:: rolling my eyes ::

so we got him a nice masculine mountain bike as well. on sale. cha-ching.
then we geared up with pad locks, helmets, and he had to peel me away from the bells and whistles (literally) to install on my handle bars.

and then we proceeded to take the bikes home and nearly murder each other b/c we COULD NOT figure out how to adjust our helmets or de-code our padlocks. are we "city" or what. we sat in the garage in silence, sweating, trying to remember why this was going to be WAY fun. uhm. right.

we gave up on the padlocks and simply laid hands on the bikes with prayers they wouldn't be stolen (...almost true) and hit the road.

after about 20 minutes...my rear hurt SO FREAKING bad and my gears were rattling and not catching correctly. i knew right away my ghetto mountain bike was going to be exchanged.

puff however had a grand ole time leading the way and we rode our bikes to dinner -- which in fact was ALOT of fun!!! granted, it entailed him carrying my purse in a backpack, which frankly made him look like a jehovah's witness. black backpack, helmet, geeky khakis. i could almost hear him reading mormon to me. (that's what the JW's read, right? shrugging my shoulders...)

here we are in all our bike glory.


"hi, do you have a few minutes -- i'd like to share some good news with you!"


sweaty and tired -- but happy for three years :)


ok, puff ordered a cake with the #3 on it :) talk to me about how sweet that is! and it's CHOCOLATE for the fat pregnant chic! gosh, SOMETIMES you just need a GOOD piece of birthday cake. we're still eating it!


and my cute flowers he came home with!!!!


two nights later, we celebrated the fourth of july!!!!
but it was rainy and i felt like i was going to die that day, for some reason. i was so so so wiped. so lanier and dubs came over and we "grilled indoors" and watched the fireworks on TV while being able to hear them from the capitol! it was a little like surround sound!

obvi she brought her baby -- who i feared would die that night.
but rudy only tried biting her once.
it was awesome.
and lanier is pretending to be the dog whisperer right now.
check it:


it seems to be working!!!!



me praising my dog for not killing anything on a holiday.
"progress, sweetie!!! nobody was bleeding by the end of the night! SCORE."




THEN (wow, what an eventful week) on saturday, we had our 3D/4D sonogram!! it was SO fun to be able to see chubby cheeks, and fingers, and all that. granted, we were only SLIGHTLY ANNOYED by junior's obsessive compulsive behavior with his thumb. he WOULD NOT take it out of his mouth (awww. i know. cute. get over it. we paid alot of money to see his FACE! not his hand in FRONT of his face....), he was in LOVE with sucking his thumb. not to mention that no matter WHAT position i was in, what we did to my stomach, what i would drink or do....he was NOT budging. at all.

puff's convinced it's because we've interrupted junior's prayer time.
har har.

at any rate -- after doing mild acrobatics -- we finally got that darn hand away from his face and snapped this pic! INSANE! lips! nose! eyes! baby! it was so crazy....



and then, being stubborn little bebe cheez, he resumed his previous position and chose to ignore us. clearly, we're boring. and he's cool.



anyways...we have some fun shots and it was neat to just watch him for twenty minutes!

and i guess he's got a long life of being photographed ahead of him, so we'll let him slide this once.

and here we are!
i'm trying to finish three weddings this week....
and then we fly out on thursday night for california for my first baby shower!
cant even believe it. no really. i cant.

BUT, more pressing matters =
SEASON FINALE OF THE BACHELORETTE!!

THREE HOURS OF HEAVEN starting at 8am!!!!!!
i think even The Mormon is secretly excited tho he'll never admit it!

tomorrow's schedule:
resolving the "red hair" problem.
prenatal appointment.
photo editing.
probably blogging some more!

xo.

happy anniversary to us :)

three years ago today we got married.

...three years?!...

we decided that since we bought a house AND are having a baby within 6mths of each other, that we'd do something low key, and relatively inexpensive.

so this afternoon, we're going to buy bikes :)
we had a 3 night trip planned, but that got postponed in order to buy some furniture for the house...

we've always talked about getting bikes, but we have no excuses now b/c of where we live. we have trails, the river, a cool neighborhood, a fun downtown...and i'm excited!

we rented bikes during our vacation last summer and had a blast!!
so that'll be our presents to each other! ha!

i'll take some photographs b/c i'm sure it'll be a trip to see a girl 7mth pregnant, peddling around her hood. prepare yourself!!!

other than that -- i'm scrambling to wrap up ALOT of photography projects from this past spring!!!! there's SO MUCH to do!!!

back to work!
xo.

PS: i love you, chad...i still pinch myself every single day that you took me on! i don't even remember what my life was life before we met -- and that's a wonderful, wonderful thing!!!!!!