family...

isaac spending time with his new competition....

oh well.

i lied.
i dont have time for a post of magnificent proportions like i promised.
sue me.

i feel like i have been in the vortex of a tornado this week, with things whirling around me at such a rapid pace that i'd be lucky to shower.

with that said, we LEAVE tomorrow for PA! me and isaac are taking off to spend wed-sunday with my family and then i shoot a wedding in their neck of the woods on sunday!

THEN on monday, we drove down to the OBX for a week long vacation at the beach with some friends! hurrayyy! isaac's first beach trip...

so as you can imagine, we've been tying up loose ends, packing for a two week trip, and hoping this day really has more than 24 hours in it. i'll need every last second. the only reason i'm even blogging right now is because his nap is going WAY long (3 hours?!) and i'm kinda stumped on what to do about it. WE NEED TO RUN ERRANDS!

so the next time i'll be sitting at this desk will be on JUNE 1st....and then i turn around and leave again on JUNE 4th for chrissy's wedding festivities in NJ!!!

then i come back on june 7th, and have overnight company until june 8th...!

(DID I MENTION MY HUSBAND IS TAKING THE CFA ON JUNE 6TH?! PLEASE PRAY FOR HIM!!!!!!)

THENNNN things calm down a little bit.
sorta kinda.

stay tuned....as we have some HEADLINE NEWS to report the week of june 15th! (again. no. i'm not pregnant. nor will i be at that point in my life.)

i pray i survive these next few weeks as isaac and i embark on some traveling adventures!!!!

toodles.

whoa.
where did this week go.
sad thing is...i don't even have time to explain my absence, as i'm running out the door...again!

it involved:
the party of the year.
mama's first mothers day.
a 'husband/colleague dinner.'
an evening oral surgery appt.
a dress fitting.
a pediatrician appointment.
a screaming fit with pediatrician.
"i quit, give me my baby's records/files!" episode.
why didn't i LEAVE back when THIS happened...or THIS....
a consult at a new pediatricians office.
deliveries to people's houses.
a VERY important evening meeting last night.
another oral surgery appt this morning...
and a regular dr appt this afternoon for a glorious sinus infection....

that about wraps it up.
it was all so much that i would sit down to explain it and thinking about where to begin wasted so much time that i never actually....you know, began!

and next week i leave for vacation (on wednesday!)....so...i promise to come back with LOADS of photos and stories and fun stuff. (or you could go to my facebook and see them all anyways....)

have a great weekend!!

neuro-schmeuro-FIRED-o

yeah.
didn't go so well.
lets just say that i carried all the hopes in the world for this neurologist appointment, and was so excited to see somebody 'at the top,' and by the time i walked out of his office, i was seething.

i'm not sure what happens to you people out there, when you become doctors, and successful and rich and BOSS-MAN, but...heaven help you...because it turns you into the biggest JACK*SS ever. ever.

if you're a close friend of mine, you heard me say how "i'd probably be too nervous to cry, at this appointment." and that held true. i was intimidated before i even walked in. but in an awestruck sorta way. like...lion king holding up the baby cub to the sky and singing praise songs...kinda way. i felt much awe and respect for the office was going to. if DR SINGER has recommended this guy...then...wow...i may bow down upon greeting him.

AND THAT MY FRIENDS is why he is PROBABLY a JACK*SS.
dont' ever do that! don't ever let the doctor know you think he IS GOD...because this is what happens to him!

so i wait in the waiting room for...an...hour.
fortunately, NEWSWEEK had a great article on spitzer, and i found it interesting, and nearly zonked out in my chair. nevermind the fact that chad was home with isaac, trying to work, so every minute that ticked by, made me feel claustrophic that this appt wasn't underway yet. i kept glancing at my phone and whispering, "i'm sorry" to it...for chad's sake.

did i mention this office was smack in the middle of a RETIREMENT FACILITY? i was the only one in that room under 60 years old. walkers. wheelchairs. and me. i smiled to myself as a friend reminded me, "guess how neat it will be for dr London to see a young person..." yes. i'm OBVIOUSLY very refreshing for him.

lets just get to the point.
dr london never acknowledged that i had been waiting for an hour, OR that my previous TEN YEARS has culminated to me sitting in his office. he walked in. er. strutted. sat down. looked at his chart. sized me up. "how old are you?"

29.

"what hand do you write with?"

uhm. right. wow. why are you asking me this.

"because it determines where your speech skills are embedded."

i refrained from asking him WHAT THE HELL does that have to do with jaw pain, but i let it go. i could see the writing on the wall at this point.

"so...(insert shrug)...you have...(raises eyebrows)....teeth pain?"

i guess you can call it that...

"and ...uhm...who referred you...(glances at chart)...dr singer?...and who is he...like...a dentist?"

my blood pressure started to escalate at this point...

"no. dr london. he's a TMJ/facial pain specialist."

"so why are you here?"

and thus proceeded the most painful interaction of my life.
he continued by treating me like i was some whiny, teenager who must not know what REAL pain is, therefore, shut up and let me handle poor elderly souls who need strong drugs....

"alliso...i mean....mrs morgan....you are not very articulate in your description of your pain..."

me.
he's accusing ME of not being COMMUNICATIVE....?!
wow.

i wanted to hit him....hard.
i took a deep breath and tried to remain level-headed:

"i have been to so many DENTISTS i've lost count. i've then been referred to THREE different endodontists. then i was referred to an oral surgeon. then i was referred to a TMJ specialist, who has been TREATING ME for the last 16 months. THEN he referred me to you."

he stopped.
asked me to repeat it as he furiously scribbled in his gay little file.

he pricked my face with safety pins.
he watched me walk.
he checked my jaw.
he did a bunch of random eye tests.

and rolled his eyes as he muttered, "come with me."

we enter his office and he tells me to take a seat.
i sit down.
and staring back at me are the FACES OF DR LONDON AND THE OBAMAS....

i started looking for the hidden camera at that point.
THIS MUST be a practical joke.
and since i REALLY felt there was nothing to lose. heck, there was nothing to salvage AT ALL, i had to bite my tongue from asking how he felt about his job security with socialized medicine coming down the pipeline, thanks to his good friend barack.

he proceeds to ignore me for a good 5 minutes while he shuffled around and dug his nose in a few books....

he finally sits back in his chair and stares at me:

"alliso...i mean...mrs morgan....you may have trigenimal neuralgia, but it certainly wouldn't be a classic case. maybe you have atypical neuralgia. who knows. i need to see the 5th cranial nerve via contrast MRI, asap. maybe you have a growth on it, maybe it's compressed...damaged...whatnot. so get the MRI and take ____ meds and come back in two weeks."

"oh...and in the meantime...try to figure out a way to be more articulate with your pain experiences..."

"and...if all else fails...i'll refer you to a specialist at the university of maryland....he's like....the guru of guru's over there...."

ten bucks he's TALKING ABOUT DR SINGER.
the man he just INSULTED by calling him a dentist.

NO HE'S NOT A DENTIST, you EVIL JERK.
DOCTOR SINGER HAS BEEN INVITED TO BE ON OPRAH TWICE!!!!
he's a WORLD RENOWN SURGEON who RECONSTRUCTS FACES for WAR VICTIMS in the MILITARY! HE SHOWED ME AN EAR HE WAS ABOUT TO SEW BACK ONTO A PATIENT! HE HAS CLIENTS THAT FLY IN FROM SWITZERLAND, AFGHANISTAN, ALL OVER EUROPE, BECAUSE HE IS THE BEST DAMN FACIAL RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGEON OUT THERE.....HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR 16 YEARS AND HE TEACHES AT FREAKING UNIVERSITIES (INCLUDING THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND!)
...AND HE GIVES TESTIMONY IN BIG COURT CASES AS THE EXPERT OF ALL THINGS (i love him so much)
AND HE MAKES TIME FOR TMJ DISASTER CASES LIKE MYSELF....
HOW DARE YOU CALL HIM A DENTIST AND ROLL YOUR JACK*SS EYES AT ME.....

i plan on reporting back to dr singer all of these things.
and that the big dawg NEURO-SCHMEURO dude is probably on the brink of referring me...BACK to dr singer...not KNOWING that's who i've ALREADY been seeing forever.

and i had no idea what doctor london had written out for me to take, medicine-wise. but it was some CRAZY FREAK PILL that knocked me out till NEXT WEEK. i'm sitting here typing every other word incorrectly bc this med makes my body NOT WORK WELL. fingers. broken. lazy. disconnected. huh?

i looked it up on the interweb and it's a muscle RELAXANT...and...yeah...NO. "just take it between 6-7pm, it'll make you tir...." zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

and guess what.
no, thanks.

dr singer, love is not the right word for the emotions i have for you...but this was a HORRIBLE referral and i need you to try again. thanks. see you soon, my beloved bff, i know we have a date on may 12th at 7pm, in that HAWT office of yours...but let's just have a little chat first before you pull out those sexy drills. great. thanks.

back to the drawing board.

"nosy...and curious..."

wonder where he gets THAT from. :)

so we survived the 9 month check-up.
it was AWESOME sitting in the 'well-baby' waiting room for once...and we made some friends, since they were running so far behind. again. like normal. blah.

he managed to:
pull the doctor's stethoscope off.
tug on her scarf.
chew on the medical files.
rip up all the paper they lay across the examine table.
put all his socks in his mouth.
and impress the pediatrician with his:

"nosiness and curiosity...you REALLY need to baby-proof your house now..."
i told him to wear that badge proudly.

i am incredibly proud to have a nosy and curious baby.
how boring would it be to have a kid that was bored with the boring world in his boring life...?
very.

hold your breath for these whammy stats:

height: 27.5 inches (25th %)
weight: 20lbs (40th %)
head circ: 18.5 inches (92nd % ....??!!!!)

CRANIUM MANIA!
he's freaking charlie brown, come to life!
no wonder he falls right over in the bath tub...he's lugging a noggin fit for a 5 year old!

and all was well with the world until his shots.
and then he was R.O.Y.A.L.L.Y. pissed off.

but he passed with flying colors and they gave him the green light to eat hummus, yogurt, crackers, avacado, toast...and all sorts of things that make me nervous. maybe we'll try those....tomorrow....? maybe.

but couldn't you just SQUEEZE THOSE CHEEKS?!

whoa. standby.

i got all comfy in my chair to write a post and my calendar rudely reminded me that isaac's 9mth check-up is in 1 hour.

WHAT.
my whole morning....he's napping....my routine....what gives!...how could you!....NO NO NO!....

be back soon to report what percentile his massive noggin is in, now!
AH.

explanation.

i don't really know how to start, because my head is so full of information AND because so much has already changed since my appts on friday.

it's such a huge elephant to take down, in trying to begin explaining that i find myself feeling overwhelmed and therefore reluctant to begin.

however.
i will try my best!

let's just say that my first appointment went swimmingly. exceptional. grand. just as expected.
it was first thing in the morning with my gyno oncologist. (i sometimes feel like my readership is solely young girls my age, as it was when i first started. i understand OBGYN discussions may not be what you're here for, new readers, so feel free to skip this entry!)

he was SUPER NICE and i'd fully refer him to anybody!
we chatted about my obgyn history (lots!) and he was very thoughtful, understanding, and assuring. not to mention, his waiting room is full of albums overflowing with thank you notes written from previous patients. gotta love it.

he basically goes on by saying that we KNOW everything we're gonna know about my insides, from ultrasounds/CT scans/sonograms. if we still need to know MORE...it means going inside. he said exploratory laparoscopy surgery would be ideal, in order to get a peak inside and zap away any c-section scar tissue/endometriosis that may be creeping around in there causing horrendous pain. if he finds nothing, he'll close me up, having done nothing. i likey.

he did mention it'll be a 7-10 recovery period ...and... i have no slaves. who would take care of isaac? i have no idea. i could pay some people to babysit, i suppose...but 7-10 days is a LONG TIME! i need to ask him to specifically DEFINE "recovery." i'm close acquaintances with pain, so i could probably do just fine through most of the pain. i do it almost every day. but post-op pain for the first 48 hours would be rough and chad would certainly need to take some personal days to help out.

his surgical coordinator will be contacting me soon to get it on the calendar.
see?
that was easy!
done.
and done.

then i had to drive over to the TMJ/facial pain specialist.
though i was thrilled with my morning appt, i was full-on sobbing in the waiting room by the time i got to this doctor's office. i was just so upset. so anxious. so ready to have him HELP ME.

they take me back to his room and by the time he comes in, the nurse had already set the box of tissues on my lap. he sees me and OH MY GOSH, flips out. bear in mind, he's a ...how shall we say...nerdy little rocket scientist einstein pocket protector type of dude. (hi dr singer! if you're reading this!) so facts are, he's not sure WHAT to do with...emotion! tears! OMG!

he scrambles and fumbles around and starts scribbling on a note pad: REFERRAL FOR NEUROLOGIST.

"dr london is fantastic. i believe you have trigenimal neuralgia. i believe we are well on our way to alleviating your pain. it takes time. i understand you are growing impatient. if you desire a second opinion or somebody more educated on how to treat this, feel free to have a consult with him. he's wonderful. but i don't feel we've exhausted our resources here and we will beat this, allison."

ME: "I DONT WANT TO BE ON ANY MORE MEDICATIONS!"

HIM: "well, allison, that is the least invasive thing we can do for you."

ME: "I WANT MY NORMAL LIFE BACK."

NURSE: walks out because she starts crying.

HIM: "dr london is just going to put you on the same meds i have you on....if that doesn't work....the meds will be changed and increased. (dear Lord NOOOO!). if that doesn't work, he'll move to alcohol injections into the nerve endings to deaden them for 3-6 months at a time, which will help alleviate pain. if THAT doesn't happen...he will probably refer you to a surgeon who will pursue brain surgery."

just like that.
he said the words, "Brain Surgery."

(SIDEBAR: the trigenimal nerve root is located behind your ear. embedded in your brain. it feeds through the TMJ joint, which your jaw hinges from, and then breaks off into nerve endings in your face that carry feeling and sensation to your eyes, cheeks, tongue, lips, nose, TEETH!, etc. so they make a tiny hole behind your ear, lift out a small piece of skull, and find the root nerve and cushion it so that it isn't being compressed or damaged, which 99% of the time is the cause of classic trigenimal neuralgia pain. we don't even KNOW, without proper testing first, if that IS the source of my problem. just saying, that's how they come to 'brain surgery' scenarios.)

fortunately, i saw it coming. i've done enough reading...and i've read enough testimonials to know that was the worse case scenario. so i wasn't upset by him stating the obvious. frankly, i don't feel it will come to that. BUT STILL. more tears. frustration. DELAYED RESOLUTION.

then after crying for EMOTIONAL reasons for 45 minutes...he wanted to install an implant down into my jaw (hole was already drilled 3 mths ago), since the parts had arrived that morning.

and after 5 shots of novacaine, i'm now crying bc the agony was so terrific.
we decided to close it up and come back to it later.
everybody was tired and everybody was running low on time.
so i wiped my face clean and with weak knees, went to check out.
the surgeon wanted to see me again on sunday, he'd open his office just for me, and therefore i went back in on sunday for another 2 hour appt.

THIS TIME = it went very WELL. no pain. (well, if you don't include that first injection into my JAW BONE...it was smooth sailing after that. and the 4 additional injections....) the implant was placed and my jaw is somewhat stabilized now. AAAAND, with the placement of the implant, new puzzle pieces were revealed about the structure of my jaw and how that may be the culprit behind the mind-numbing electrical lightening volts that rush through my face.

so while i may have SYMPTOMS of trigenimal neuralgia (TN)...it may not be CLASSIC trigenimal neuralgia. which would be the biggest blessing of ALL!

so i will be headed to the neurologist on thursday of this week for a consult.
the TMJ specialist is convinced i'll be treated for CLASSIC TN, since the neurologist will hear "electricity in face" and immediately believe that's what i have. however, TMJ specialist doesn't care. "let him treat you for classic...let him get your pain under control...and in the meantime, we'll still keep working on the source of the problem through correcting the structural problems with your jaw alignment...."

got all that?
i know.
me either.

but that's a rough sketch of how things went down on friday...and then sunday.

i still can't eat really, unless i load up on Neurontin before the meal, which results in a very groggy dinner date.

but i can only hope and pray that progress is being made, despite feeling as though i'm stuck on this treadmill...

...sprinting and going nowhere...

newly-minted 9 mth old....

...be still, my heart...

exhausted.

thanks for the thoughts and prayers.
lots of good news today...and lots of crying today.

one appointment went really well.
one appointment did not.

but they're over and at least i'm that much closer to having resolution.
even if 'resolution' doesn't always come in the neat little box you want it to.

i promise to detail everything soon.
i just kinda feel tired from telling and re-telling the stories, for the moment.

and my husband wants to take me out for an early dinner with my 9 month old baby boy.
yes.
he's 9 months old today.
cheers! :)

is 530pm too early to drink?
or...
ask for another round.....?

more to come.