traveling mercies...

remember that time when i decided to be Miss Independent and drive my sassy lil self and my 9 month old all the way from DC to OBX, all by myself?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

and remember when i was starving after 6 hours of driving, and isaac was screaming and it was 234233 degrees outside and we both deserved a break?
and remember when i took him out of the car at Hardee's in the middle of gosh darn nowhereville, so we could have said break...?

and remember how he dropped a Nagasaki blowout while sitting his stroller?
and how Hardee's doesn't have child changing tables?
and how i had to lay him in the only empty booth to strip him down, and watch him fight and roll around in his own diarrhea and have the end result be smeared poo all over Hardee's booth's WHERE PEOPLE ARE EATING?
(serves you right, hardees. bet you've placed an order for a changing table now, HUH).
and how i had diarrhea up to my elbows?
and a purse?
and a diaper bag?
and a naked baby?
and a shart covered stroller?

i can't believe people weren't dry-heaving at the sight.
and remember how i ran to hide in the bathroom to wash my hands and realized...short of PUTTING ISAAC on a roadside, disgusting fast food bathroom floor, i would:
1) not be able to wash my hands.
2) not be able to place him back in his desperate, dripping stroller.
3) not be able to order food and attempt to pay for it with isaac's crap under my fingernails.
4) not be able to ask some other STRANGER to hold my stanking child.
5) not be able to put him in the car, so that i can RUN BACK IN to wash my hands.
6) not be able to wash down the stroller before putting it BACK in my car for the remaining 2 hours of the drive.

remember how i threw his clothes in the trash?
and laid papertowels down in his car seat in case he decided to hit the repeat button.
and remember how i climbed back into my car, and with poop-caked hands, began to cry?

i had some water and some hand sanitizer, and did the best i could -- but -- no amount of alcohol-based sanitizer can cover the stench of this much CRAP.

it was foreshadowing, people -- because that was the week from HELLLLLLLLLLLL.
i was scarred.
isaac apparently had a "virus" and was trying to bust out 4 teeth and just flat out staged a revolt against me.

i say all of this to admit my newfound TREPIDATION when packing up isaac to take him on a roadtrip yesterday.
even if it was only three hours.
even if i can do the drive blindfolded.
even if i feel as though i've rebuilt my confidences, worn trash-worthy clothing for the trip, dressed isaac only in a onesie, and concocted a strategy for all worst case scenarios.

(you'd think i would have re-thought out my driving preferences after that drive from lynchburg to philly, during a blizzard, at 9pm...with a bad alternator. heh. in a t-shirt, no less. coat in the trunk. you know...in a suitcase somewhere. that was fun times on the side of interstate 81...WITH NO CELL PHONE....)

all to say, the drive went well...but we say our prayers now. we double-dip our entire CAR in prayer and yes, try to only drive long distances with daddy along for the ride, too. (he will be joining us tomorrow...because, snap...somebody's gotta pay the bills around here...)

it's been fun to be back home with my baby...though it certainly is a sad reason to make the trek back.

hopefully an evening with my best friend will elevate the mood around here, momentarily...

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"huh? no, no. me is rock-solid road trip partner. me luvs talk radio...and taco bell..."