my beloved

life twists and turns and sometimes the most unexpected blessings drop into our lives. literally. each day we grow older, we anticipate and order our schedules our plans and our priorities. and every once in a while, we are reminded that, for the most part, we control very little. we're simply riding a wave into shore, with minimal control over the fluid movements of the water beneath us...it may be calm, choppy, rushing, devastating. but never drifting. never direction-less.

life is ordained and our blessings are orchestrated by the one and true God above.




and that's what you are to me.
i certainly wasn't expecting you, or intentionally seeking you out.
i was riding the choppy waters of my Hill job. increasingly hating the person it was twisting me into. despising my ridiculous schedule. pining after something slower. more peaceful. a better-fitting job for my heart. i was, for the lack of a better term, broken. in many ways. broken over previous relationships. broken financially. and i was rather heartbroken over my experiences in my "dream enviromnment" not really fulfilling me the way i had expected...

we met via unconventional circumstances (blind date, long story!) and, boy...we were looooong distance.
but you were intentional, level-minded, calm...and you snapped into place in my heart, as though you were a perfectly fitting puzzle piece.
i knew.
i knew you were the one.

i moved to be closer to you.
4 years ago tomorrow, we were married.
together we moved back east.

you know it's a great place to come home to, when one of our top five fights of all time occurred 2 weeks into marriage, 2 glasses of wine into the night, and this Type-A wife refused to go to bed until i hung a bookshelf on the wall. one screaming fit and 16 gaping holes in the wall later.....we ended up laughing hysterically. and we still talk about that night -- fondly -- to this day.

there is so much i know today, that i otherwise would never have known, outside of you.
there is so much i love today, that i otherwise would never have loved, outside of you.
there is so much i experience today, that outside of you, i never would have experienced.



in many ways, i met a man i never would have sought out. and fell in love. unexpected blessings.
in many ways, i met a man who i desperately dreamed i'd end up with.

they say 'still waters run deep....'
that's my husband.
he's never frazzled. never hurried. never worried. never fretting.
with every card stacked against him, while being aware of his 'odds'...he lives by example: "God is good and in control. He controls our fate. Anxiety contributes nothing positive...."

i've never met a more disciplined man. very long-suffering. eyes always on a goal. i stand in awe....as i'm more of a 'sprinter' in life. i don't have endurance. sure, i'm a force to be reckoned with, if i'm inspired...but check in with me a year later?....eh....i move on to the next shiny thing. but not chad. chad sets 10-year goals, and beyond. he's a dreamer. a do-er. and certainly a pray-er. he identifies and personifies a goal and never redirects his gaze. a strong man in that way, particularly.

with him, the glass is eternally full...even if i declare the sky to be falling and the end of the world is in sight. it can be incredibly infuriating when you can't get a rise out of somebody, as you're dramatically complaining about a circumstance. it can also be incredibly comforting when true, real grief is encountered. he is certainly a shelter when waves are utterly consuming.

and of course he does all of these things while being a wonderful conversationalist. he's truly insatiable...his curiosity astounds me. always learning and seeking out new information about anything...



but while being all of these things, things i couldn't have understood how to pray for or dream up....he loves me so well.
from 4 years of cups of coffee on my nightstand every morning....to randomly collecting all the trash in my ever-disgusting vehicle. to his unprompted bouquets of roses. to his wonderful and constant words of affirmation. to his love of our baby.





i could continue this post all day.
all of the letters in the alphabet, that i am staring at on my laptop, could never contain the magnitude of the blessings chad is to me.

ultimately, i am bursting with pride that i am his wife. i ask myself daily WHY he chose to spend the remainder of his days with me...and it doesn't matter. i can only hope and strive to make it the best experience for him, possible, with each year that we tuck under our belt.

our anniversary is actually july 2nd, but i'll be a little predisposed in an operating room tomorrow, so this comes a day early.
but that's ok -- he deserves the extra day of recognition. :)



today also marks my son's 11 month mark on our lives....

all i can say is that 'my cup runneth over....,' and it's all due to God's graciousness in placing us in the same boat together, chad, and though navigating life can get messy-- we're together.

....we're together.
and i love you dearly.
happy 4th anniversary.....