Monday, April 20, 2009

gotta love mondays....

so i recently joined a local moms club and have to admit, i've been really impressed.
last week, i received an email invitation to enter a yahoo group through the club, which has been nice...and then they organized us into weekly local playgroups. and by local...i mean...local. walking distance from my house!

today = first playgroup!
today = pouring rain, no walking anywhere.

so we loaded up the car and headed over there through the torrential downpour and whaddya know! i was on time! aahhh, this must be a good day. despite the rain. so i park in a lot across from the house the playgroup was being held at, and grab my ginormous umbrella and hop out of the car and run around to the other side to grab the diaper bag/purse/baby...

...and despite how hard i continue to tug (in sheer out of body experience denial), it becomes increasingly clear that i've locked my baby, my purse, my phone, my the car. in the rain. as i am heading into a strangers house. for a CHILDRENS PLAYGROUP. where i was going to propose the notion of babysitting co-ops.

as IF anybody is going to let me near their child, now.

i stand there in utter disbelief and stare at isaac through the back window.
and stare.
and stare.

and he stares back.
pulling at his sock.
happily sucking away at his paci.

the house we were meeting at was a good 50 yards away, out of sight from the car.
but if i can't get into the car, i doubt anybody who was going to kidnap him could either.
and so i left him to make an emergency phone call.
from the strangers house.
whom i have yet to meet.

i knock on the door! baby-less! HEY!
"hey! i'm allison! great house! can i come in? and call the police? that would be great. cuz my baby is locked in the car and i swear i'm a good mom and'll see."

i know you wont believe this...but...all the moms commented on how calm i was.
i know.

so i borrowed her phone and:
a) tried calling my husband, who was at home, for the spare car key, which i'm not even sure exists. (note to self.) he was on a conference call and unwilling to switch over to some random local number he's never seen before.

b) called the local police. who, upon hearing that a baby was locked in a car, dispatched somebody immediately.

c) called the local fire department (they're closer), only to get a voice recording, "sorry we're unavailable right now, but if you leave a message...." uhm. how hilarious is that? "oh, hi. my name is allison and i live at XXXXX and my house is burning down, and you see, it would be so thoughtful of you to employ a few more people so that, uhm, you can come out, and you know...stop my house from burning down. call me back! talk soon, toodles." WHAT THE HECK?! (note to self.)

of course the moms started looking at me like i'm slightly off the reservation.
one of them asks, "do you...want to go...stand by the car and see if your baby is ok?"

my hesitation was probably misunderstood.
it is, i may add, DOWNPOURING.
and there is, i may add, NOTHING i can do but stare at him through the window.
and i also should add, that isaac is the only boy in this playgroup. the other babies are all girls. and i truly do think that if my baby were a chic...i'd be all about worrying. but isaac is a dude. and so i instinctually think "eh...he's in heaven. he could care less. i bet he's even sleeping...."

and they realized i was probably not too interested in doing that, so one of them asks, " you want me to go stand by the car to make sure your baby is ok?"

oh great.
the sweet moms now think i'm 100% negligent.

"no, no, that's ok, i'll run over there and check on him."

so i run up to the window and press my face against the wet, tinted glass and yes, just like i imagined, he was fast asleep. until. i bumped the door with my umbrella. and when he saw me, he was none too amused that i was refusing to the open the door and get him out.

see, i was right. i should have never gone to disturb a situation that i cannot rectify!!! it only served to frustrate ME and now frustrate HIM. he squirmed and arched his back and reached for the window. oh dear. don't cry. DONT CRY....

i run away.
and pace.
and call chad again. he answers! he laughs at me. (he's darn thankful that i did it and not him. because God knows how LESS humerous this would all be, if he were the guilty party. i'm gracious like that. wink.)

oddly enough, the police beat him here.
they probably wonder about my motherly capabilities, but never say anything. literally.

so needless to say, it took three of us, wedging the door open, setting off car alarms (good to know!), waking isaac up, and breaking into my car -- to save the entire ordeal. as i was perfusely thanking them for rushing over, one of the police yells over his shoulder, "just remember this the next time you want to hate us for handing out parking violations. we do good things, too."

he must be a mindreader because up until this morning i was a full-on cop hater. (not you, ryan, you're a good cop.) of course it has something to do with those 6 points i was just slapped with and that whole fun day in court with more questionable criminals than myself, and that darling letter from the district about revoking licenses and stuff like that....

ok, so it was a little moment of cop redemption.

isaac looked thoroughly confused.
i was horribly soaked.

so i walked through the door with isaac and started all over again.
"hey everybody, my name is allison and THIS is isaac and we'd like you to forget about this entire ordeal...because we're normal, i swear and this has neeeever happened before...."

it was only when i told them that i had just recently been given the responsibility of setting up the babysitting co-ops, that i think i lost 'em.


sometimes monday just stink.


Julie Nickerson said...

This is hilarious! Thank GOD Isaac is ok.

But this is such a great story. If your new playgroup moms need a reference on you, have them call me. I know you are a great mom!

heather said...

Oh my gosh - this is beyond hilarious! I don't think there's a single detail you could add to this story to make it any crazier - I love that you were meeting the moms for the first time AND organizing the babysitting co-op.

Brew a pot of coffee and sit down with Isaac's baby book and jot that one down.

Glad everything worked out - but I'm also glad for a good laugh this morning.

Nikki said...

This was amazing... the entire story... you know mom's everywhere can relate in some way shape or form to this story and those playgroup mom's are in complete denial! The best was the final picture. Coping with wine is always a winner and Isaac is a man after my own heart!

Chrissy said...

oh my gosh. that is amazing. horrifying and hilarious at the same time. i can only imagine what they were thinking!!!! HAHAHA! you ARE a good mom, tho, allison. and this COULD happen to anyone. heck, my mom burned my with an iron. i mean....

ckuretich said...

belongs in a sitcom. for realz.

Glenna Marshall said...

It's only a matter of time before this happens to me. I've locked Isaiah and myself out of the house twice's just a matter of time before we're separated and he's locked in the house or car. At least Isaac was SAFE in the carseat. (Isaiah is trying to eat the side of my laptop right now...)