Monday, October 22, 2007

i am amazing.

i've come to understand that when given the option to back's undeniable. i'll back out.

but when there are no options...and pressing forward is the only acceptable option...i sometimes impress even myself.

y'all...i know i've been sayin' this alot...but this last weekend really REALLY was one of the worst weekends in recent history for me. my last post feels like ancient history, when in reality it's only been 48-72 hours. that vicodin creates this black hole in the universe that i had fallen into and i'm just now emerging from the abyss.

now...i've had vicoden before. but this was an ENTIRELY different breed of it. apparently that itty-bitty "ES" next to it stands for EXTRA STRENGTH and within moments of swallowing it you either become warm and weightless and happy....OR....your insides feel as though acid has dripped down into it and you vomit incessantly. flip a coin. you never know with this "ES" vicoden which one you'll get.

have you ever tried to go on CLEAR LIQUIDS for 72 hours? WHILE taking the rabid vicoden? my advice = INTERROGATE THE DOCTOR WHO ADVISES YOU TO DO THIS.

so let's start with friday.
or did we cover friday pretty well in my last post?
infected root canal.
no sleep for 2 nights from agony.
trip to fertility clinic.
trip to dentist.
trip to oral surgeons office.
and the rest is a painful blur.

SATURDAY was my LUCKY DAY!!! heh heh.
i had to shoot a wedding under these strained conditions. FORTUNATELY, though my life is full of bad luck...everything else for the most part went PERFECTLY. the weather! the driver! (thanks juju for driving) the simplicity of the day! and the meds held me over pretty well. again. a blur. all i really remember was starving the entire time. and the random electric volt that went through my jaw. the end.

lucky for meeeee....i made it home in one piece. i had taken SO MUCH MEDICATION throughout the day, that i cannot believe i wasn't dead by midnight. the second i sat down in the car.....i could have happily driven off the road into a tree to simply give my droopy eyes a break. but at 1am, me and hubbster had a date. an injection date. we were both too tired to get all freaked out over it....though we had a moment of pause after we watched the DVD....primed the needle....cleaned off the injection site....and stared at each other....

i slowly handed him the injection....and stopped him at least 4 times as he was about to proceed. "w-w-w-wwaaait....wait have to make sure the needle goes HERE....and not here..."

he nods.
i turn my head....

"www-w-w-w-wwaaait wait wait have to tell me when it's ALL the way in so i can relax...just tell me when the needle is ALL the way in and the worst is over...."

he nods.
and the cycle repeats itself until finally i realize i'm prolonging the inevitable and.....STAB. he does it. he injects. we stare at each other......and then we die laughing.....

WE DID IT! i was really proud of HIM....and i'm certain he was proud of me and frankly, i think this helps him in his empathy for my situation. sometimes he feels soo...detached from it all because it's my body and not his. but this keeps us both on the same page....and i like that alot.

i woke up at 3pm.
not from the shot...but the meds....the pain....MY HUNGER.
i threw caution to the wind and ate some yogurt and pudding and 3 cans of chicken broth and felt a million times better.

last night's shot went a little bit better.
i only stopped him once.
to ensure he didn't get me in the same spot as the night before....
but since i had taken a SHARPIE marker and marked my stomach where the injection from the night before had been, he'd have to be legally blind to miss it.

last night was my 4th night on the couch to keep my head elevated.
i've grown rather fond of falling asleep to the TV.
but my back is BEGGING for my ole bed tonight will be back to normal.

oh heavens....slap me again if i ever hold onto hope that anything in my life......will ever be normal....

back to catching up on laundry and the photog-projects.....but first i need to eat some mac and cheese.....i'm DROOLING over here....and it's time!

1 comment:

Julie Nickerson said...

YAY!!! You finally get to eat some food! Yummy!