The Oracle

EDIT:
estrogen blood test results are in.
i've over-responded to the meds and my E2 result is: 720
target E2 results: 300-400
POA: decrease serum injection by 50% in hopes of slowing down ovarian progress (who would have EVER thought i'd be saying that...)
Outcome: if E2 exceeds 3000 at any point, the insemination is cancelled.
my thoughts: this is excellent!!! no really. we're learning here...and fortunately, my body is very sensitive to this medication which is a GOOD THING and we'll eventually find the perfect dose!! the heavens have smiled down on me and i get to see the oracle again at 815 on saturday morning!!! :) too bad the vampires will be there too.

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well....today has already been a very informative day.
and it's only 1130am.

i'd like to first announce a "cyber-sorry" to puffy for dissing his injections skillz, because let me tell you, Lara shot me up last night and it hurt like a B*$#%.

ahem. so. word to the wise. do NOT shoot the same place twice, and don't bite the hand that feeds ...er...sticks you.

speaking of food (gosh, i've already hit two rabbit trails en route to my MAIN story of the day...stick with me), i'm starving. literally. wasting away. wanna lose five pounds in five days? i found the secret combo:

1) crack, root canal, then extract a molar (which is necessary for CHEWING), then undergo bone graft surgery which employs lots of stitches.
2) clear liquid diet for three FULL, LONG, ENDLESS days.
3) then start a medication called Metformin (blood sugar issue, lest we forget!), which rapidly induces rabid diahrea and full-on nausea, and total loss of appetite (blessing in disguise when you aren't allowed to eat anyways)
4) all this while supplimenting the clear liquids with antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, and straight up narcotics.
5) proceed to throw up.
6)....tempted to complain more about the shots, but....they haven't induced weight loss.....but they're more painful BECAUSE of the weight i've lost....

all the sudden you realize, you'd rather keep those five pounds, wouldn't you? (truthfully, i'm shocked it hasn't been more.)
yyyyyeah. thought so. i attempted sushi last night and if ANY of you know me -- you'll understand that my obsession of 2007 has been asian cuisine, PREFERABLY, sushi. 7 california rolls into my dinner, i started having the hot flashes....mouth watering....burping.....all the signs of an impending hurl-fest. fortunately....it was avoided. but it wasn't really the best entre into the injection portion of our evening entertainment.

AAAAANYWAYS...my MAIN point of today's blog is my appt this morning. i never freaking imagined that i would LOVE the vaggie-cam as much as i have started to. and by love...i mean ALL OUT WORSHIP. i briefly crossed my mind that i would ABSOLUTELY buy one myself if i could, but then i realized how 'tom-cruise' of me that sounded even though i instantly felt a connection with him. on the table. buck nekkid.

i squint across the room at my file pulled up on the computer screen, wondering if i had enough time to jump down, run across the room, scroll through it and not get caught red-handed in just my socks and sweater with my white bum glowing for the nurse to see when she walked in. i willed myself to stay seated.

i was STOKED for the vaggie-cam oracle reading because it was about to enlighten us all on the success of my nightly injections. i mean, this is the happy place you send your mind off to as you hand the needle over to your husband every night. this is the great revealing.

sadly it was a great revealing to the doctor, the nurse, myself...and freaking med students!!? what is this...a casting call for the new season of ER?! my wahoo is hangin' out to be used as a tutorial on ultrasound readings. awesome. miss doctor-i've-never-seen goes to town with her oracle speaking vaggie cam....and ruthlessly attempts to find my ovaries, which, frankly, were a bit difficult to find, which is strange because they FEEL like they are about to blow up. shots must be doing something.

"...i can't...seem to locate....your left ovary....."

me blankly staring at the ceiling. WHERE ELSE CAN I LOOK!? i have absolutely no desire to make eye contact with the horrified, wide-eyed med students in the corner. my brain is telling my heart to NOT BURST INTO TEARS that this reading would be incomplete because the left ovary is playing marco-polo.

still digging...
still digging...
holding my breath....ORACLE!!! SPEAK TO US....!!!
weak, feeble smiles from med-student gallery....

obviously she finally found it and ladies and gents, on Cycle Day 8 we have:
L-ovary = 18 freaking follicles. but two which are leading the charge at 12mm and 10mm!
R-ovary = only 8 follicles (shocker, considering the R ovary was asleep at the wheel for our last insemination) with one at 10mm.
Endo lining = 6mm!

in order to induce ovulation via trigger shot, to proceed with the insemination, i need at least ONE 18mm follicle and i need the lining to be at 8+mm.
but we have till Oct 31st to get there!!! follicles typically grow 1-2mm a day, so we're totally going to have time!!! (ask me again why we don't feel haunted by the bad omen of potentially conceiving our firstborn on HALLOWEEN...? how fitting of a payback considering the torture we inflict on the toddlers-round-town with our halloween festivities...)

the vampires in the back took more blood from the arm least bruised, and i find out this afternoon what my E2 levels are (estrogen). that's the scary part. sister has ALOT of follicles in there. the bigger they get, the higher the E2 numbers. if ALL of them start to progress and grow.....our cycle is cancelled for fear of a potentially lethal complication called OHSS (Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome, brought on by excessively elavated E2) from TOO MANY follicles growing at once. (which causes fluid retention in the lungs, organs, blah-dee-blah).
OR, if more than 4 grow to be 18mm or higher, the cycle is cancelled because let's face it....ain't nobody out there who wants four puppies growin' in their belly, by accident. not even the desperate, sick freaks like me.

so we're still riding this coaster very cautiously...but it WOULD appear that....nevermind. i'm not even going to say it. bad luck. (involving a little trip next weekend we're supposed to be taking....)

i'm tired.
....can't imagine why....

the oracle will be enlightening us again in a day or two....stay tuned.