AAAAAAHHHHH...i can't keep up....

hi people.
sorry for the slack blogging efforts.
even though apologizing is sorta like...thinking i'm more important than i am, and i know none of you have really felt any impact at all by my absence....

but nevertheless: here i am.
and i am drowning.....
work has been kicking my rrrrear and let's just say that next summer i hope that i tackle wedding season in a COMPLETELY different manner. it may not be rocket science, but it certainly is incredibly intense and consuming and emotionally charged in all regards!!! i hope to have a studio, i hope to have some part time help, i hope to have a stronger sense of self-confidence....it's just gonna be a killer year, 2008!!!

but until then, i'm going to get off my fluffy cloud in the sky and try to catch my breath.

i've made some observations in the last week about the industry i'm in. especially this industry in a big, political circus like DC. some people are so caught off guard when i tell them i work out of my home as a wedding photographer. the litany of questions is now seared into my head and i could respond in my sleep with my hands tied behind my back.....oh, wait....

then you have the people that say, "WOW! i WISH i could do something like that!" those conversations are fun because you see a side of somebody that isn't normally made visible in this freaking city. here, you work in politics....or you're a waste of space.

then you have the people that are just recently starting to surface. maybe it's because i'm getting around to shoot more often....so i'm exposed to more people. but, some people are just plain jackasses. there. i said it. the people that don't feel the need to call you anything other than, "hey..lady!...hey...hey...lady!" are jackasses. if i am going to sit around and try to figure out and memorize the 18 names of all the individuals in this shoot, the LEAST YOU COULD DO is try to call me by mine. you people who want all these unique pictures and love my creativity, yet bind my hands and refuse to go along with my suggestions...questioning me, accusing me, patronizing me....you're jackasses. you people who think what you do is so far superior to what i do...who can't even be bothered to look me in the eye when we shake hands or entertain any sort of small talk because i'm so below you. you're a jackass. you people who make snide remarks about my package prices and shamelessly assume my prices should be lower and nickel and dime me to death....that's being a jackass. code red jackass. you think because you sit at a desk all day and play fantasy football and shop online, that you deserve your steady paycheck more than i do, taking calls until i go to bed, risking my financial stability to follow a dream, providing you unprecedented customer service, and giving you FAR more than you would EVER find anywhere else for this price....hello, jackass. do you realize that after all the hours i put into YOUR finished product, i make mere pocket change an hour!!? so NO, i will NOT throw in a $600.00 leather bound album with that package. go knock on somebody else's door. i'd much rather SCRAPE MY CALENDAR FREE and make NO money, rather than diluting what SMALL amount of money i make, by offerring you a $600. bonus item which is money out of my empty pockets, jackass.

and jackass, don't forget, that at the end of the day, however powerful you are at your job and however lowly i am in my job.....you are just as much in the service industry as i am. we all serve somebody. that's what makes this world go round. if people didn't like what you had to SERVE THEM WITH, you'd be flat out of business. just the difference between me and you is that YOUR job made you a haughty jerk. makes me sick.

voila.
little tidbit from my brain today....

now, moving on....to....erm....less vicious things. :)
i finally had my appointment yesterday with the endocrinologist!!! sorta**

basically, we're slowly making progress on my infertility diagnosis. (yeah, nice to meet you to, if you're new to this blog...) from what we've gathered over the last year, the diagnosis has been PCOS. well, there's a heck of a lot of information out there on PCOS and basically, it boils down to a thyroid issue and a hormone issue. the two seem to be at odds in my body. can't figure out how to get along. big sissies. SO, the ideal situation was to WHILE being treated at the infertility clinic, move on to a specialist who could dive deeper into my thyroid, insulin level discrepancies.

PCOS is derived, from what we can gather, from an insulin resistence and a thyroid hiccup at the same time. given all four of my grandparents were diabetic, AND my dad, AND his brother, AND his sister.....blood sugar issues are bound to arise in my system. all good. who cares. well, it plays a bigger role than we realized! they drew a TON of freaking blood yesterday and in 2 weeks we'll find out what my diabetic tendencies are. check. one thing off my list.

IF it turns out that it's an insulin/thyroid issue, most people go on Metformin which redirects how your hormones respond to this weird freak thing.....and all systems even out and life is BACK TO NORMAL!!!! so we're praying that as we feel our way through this fiasco.....God will bless our endeavors and give us some answers in His time.....

WHEW!

hmmmmm.....what else, what else, what else.....
oooh, i had my carpets professionally cleaned today and it smells delish!!!
another interesting factoid -- my mother in law was 2 blocks from the the street that was destroyed in the landslide in la jolla this morning. CRAZY!!! she's safe.
what else...oh, i'm going to a surprise birthday party for a man turning 70 years old today.....how CUTE is that!!!!!

alright, this is getting dragged out a tad too long....i'll update more often....but if i don't.....do you care anyway?? are you ooouuuuut there!!???

mwah!

** her front desk saaaaid she was an endocrinologist, but only after TWO HOURS of filling out family history info and being examined to the very last inch of my body, does she refer me to an endocrinologist because ALAS.....SURPRISE!!.....she's not one. but we still ran all the tests and now i get to make an appt and wait another 2 mths to get in as a new patient. sweet.