Monday, June 1, 2009

10 Months of Love...

ten months ago today my life changed forever.
i was awake in bed last night, reliving the feeling of being rolled into the operating room, and despite the doctors best efforts to knock me out, remaining fully aware of how my life was going to be abruptly and unexpectedly altered...forever.

i remember the green tiles in the OR.
i remember the horrifying feeling of being stripped naked on the table, so they could wash my belly down.
i remember the flourescent lights and the clock on the wall...and the anesthesiologist begging me to take deeper breaths.
i remember shaking and wondering where chad was.
i remember being prodded and asked if i can feel it. feel this? feel this over here?

and then i remember hearing his little cry as he was thrust out of his little home in my body and prematurely taken...

moments you just never forget.
they don't fade.
they are now a part of ME forever....

and ever since that day, time has gone faster than i could have ever expected, though each minute is sweeter than i could have ever expected.

i think the most surprising thing to me, over the past 10mths is how much isaac's wellbeing IS one in the same with my wellbeing. it isn't like he's a drag on my life. (which is how i used to view motherhood when i'd see screaming babies or hear of late nights...) rather, my every happiness is wrapped up in his. and his, mine. he's become this extension of myself, and caring for that extension, is just as though i am caring for myself. it's more natural than people can explain. it just flows...

and now that he's ten months, he hugs and kisses, and crawls and laughs, cries, snuggles, ...each day brings clearer communication and exchange of sentiments and emotion.

it's been nothing short of amazing.
10 months of life-changing LOVE.

and everybody else loves him too.
he's a love magnet :)
we were at the grocery store yesterday and countless people comment about his sweetness. a woman at the deli counter talked to me for TEN MINUTES about his sweet skin, sweet face, sweet hair, sweet smile and sweet eyes...just on and on.

i feel so blessed that he is mine!

i love you baby bear!!!

(PS: i just spent HOURS updating on my past MONTH -- so keep reading below!!!! there are 6 back to back posts on our recent life! read it or die! cuz i did it for YOU! :)


Chrissy said...

this is a beautiful description of motherhood and how your heart just GROWS to make room for this other person. they take a part of your own heart. (or so i've heard...HAHA) i love it!

ps: that picture of the little girl watching isaac while he's mid-swing, is AMAZING. it made me tear up. wow.

Julie Nickerson said...

you said it just perfect!

He is the sweetest! You are blessed!

Nikki said...

I read allll of the updates and loved everyone. Isaac is the cutest and I tell you that always! Dirty Jersey - ahhh yes, I am tapping my foot awaiting your arrival. We shall drink & party till our hearts content. Oh yea, and see Chrissy get married (i'm so weepy for joy already!)

The Babcock Family said...

so sweet. :) and well said!

Carolyn said...

AHHHH - read it or die!!! omg. ps: this was so sweet of little isaac - can't wait to see him:)

meet joelle said...

loving every minute of the catch up!